Author Archive

Eddie Vedder keeps score at baseball games; rules at life

Tuesday, October 13th, 2015

You know what's really rock'n fuckin' roll? Not destroying hotel rooms or bangin' groupies or smashing guitars or tripping balls on acid. Nope, that stuff's all old hat now. The new rock'n'roll move is keeping score at baseball games. This fact was proven by Pearl Jam front man Eddie Vedder -- ...

Cubs-Cardinals: The playoff series that will kill me

Thursday, October 8th, 2015

If you're going to the Cubs-Cardinals National League Division Series, you'll probably need to rob a Brinks truck first. If you're going to get through the Cubs-Cardinals NLDS, you'll probably need to rob a Xanax truck first. The first rider of the Apocalypse is here, and we should all be terrified.

It’s about time the Yankees recognized their drinking problem

Tuesday, October 6th, 2015

Dating back to the days of The Babe, the biggest tradition in New York Yankees history is winning. And going back just as far, the second-biggest tradition in the Bronx is alcoholism. CC Sabathia is the latest Yankee to be swallowed up by the addiction, but thankfully he has come to ...

A love letter to Bud Selig

Monday, October 5th, 2015

Dearest Bud, I just wrote to say I love you. From the bottom of my heart. This may come as a surprise given that I haven't publicly said anything positive about you since, well, ever. But that was all a front. Privately, I've always admired your visionary genius, especially this whole deal ...

Bears wave white flag with trades of Allen, Bostic

Tuesday, September 29th, 2015

Not even the French have ever capitulated this quickly. Three weeks into the the 2015 season, the Chicago Bears have come to official grips with what anyone who has watched them this year already knows: they suck. So the Bears are punting on the '15 campaign -- which given Pat O'Donnell's ...

Fat, shirtless Memphis fan steals show with megaphone air guitar

Friday, September 25th, 2015

"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son." -- Dean Wormer, Animal House Fortunately fat, drunk and brilliant is a way to go through life! One shirtless Memphis Tigers fan stole the show on Thursday night during the Tigers' wacky 53-46 win over Cincinnati that gave the school ...

Yankees legend Yogi Berra dies at age 90

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2015

One of the most iconic and quotable figures in baseball history was lost late Tuesday night. Yogi Berra, three-time American League MVP, 18-time All-Star and 10-time World Series champion as a player, died at the age of 90. Despite playing for the team that many people love to hate, Berra is one ...

The bell is tolling for Payton and Brees in New Orleans

Monday, September 21st, 2015

They can put the headstone at the Superdome's 35-yard line. That's where the Sean Payton/Drew Brees era of Saints football effectively came to its end early in Sunday's slop-riddled 26-19 loss to the woeful Buccaneers -- a team that allowed a perfect passer rating to Titans quarterback Marcus Mariota in his ...