Author Archive

Marshawn Lynch fined $100,000, still returns fan’s missing wallet

Thursday, November 20th, 2014

Marshawn Lynch made one of history's more unique daily doubles on Wednesday, quite possibly becoming the first person to ever return a stranger's wallet on the same day his own bank account was docked by $100,000. Beast Mode received what could be described as a "fine about nothing" from the NFL ...

It’s time for Bobby Knight to fill Mike Davis’ shoes

Tuesday, November 18th, 2014

In September 2000, Mike Davis was placed in one of the most difficult positions in college basketball history when he took over for deposed Indiana coach Bobby Knight shortly after the start of the school year. There was literal rioting on campus. I would know; I was walking amongst the ...

Brandon Marshall challenges Lions fan to boxing match

Friday, November 14th, 2014

At least one Chicago Bear still has some fight left in him. And all it took was one idiotic, crap-talking Detroit Lions fan to inspire the effort. (Yes, we're aware that the vast majority of Lions fans could fit under that umbrella). Lions fan Anthony Kalla, feeling a bit chesty as ...

The Chicago Bears suck. Especially on defense.

Monday, November 10th, 2014

How f*cking terrible is the Chicago Bears defense? Historically f*cking terrible. And I'm talking the type of history that's so old it predates the birth of the useless slab of flabby meat formerly known as Lance Briggs, who rode a goddamn brontosaurus to school and now eats a whole one ...

Fact: Joe Maddon will win the World Series with the Chicago Cubs

Monday, November 3rd, 2014

Most Cubs stories end at a bar. Joe Maddon's Cubs story began at one. And if he can get that aspect of Cub life reversed, why not everything else that comes with it? With Wrigley Field's innards and outtards being gutted this winter, the team had to hold their new manager's ...

World Series MVP presentation stolen by ‘Chevy Guy’

Thursday, October 30th, 2014

You would think nothing could overshadow the magnificence of Madison Bumgarner's World Series MVP performance -- but somehow the trophy presentation took the cake. Bumgarner's 5-inning relief appearance in Game 7 capped off a World Series effort that legends are made of: 21 innings, 1 run, nine hits, 17 strikeouts and ...

Peyton Manning calls out his scoreboard operator

Friday, October 24th, 2014

YOU HAD ONE JOB, MILE HIGH SCOREBOARD OPERATOR. And you did not do it to Peyton Manning's liking. In a rather surreal press conference moment after Denver's 35-21 win over San Diego on Thursday night, Peyton Manning took his team's scoreboard operator -- yes, you read that correctly -- to task for ...

Fantasy football is evil: Or, how I lost to Josh McCown

Tuesday, October 21st, 2014

Our politicians and pundits can bicker all they want about Ebola and immigration and all the other issues perceived to be bringing our nation to its knees. I will choose to focus on the only thing vile enough to actually get the job done: fantasy football, aka the devil's taint. As ...