Author Archive

Jack White is the literal face of Cubs baseball

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014

  The Chicago Cubs added an official mascot, Clark the Cub, this offseason. But we're pretty sure no one has more accurately summed up the Cub fan experience than rocker Jack White, who took in Tuesday night's game at Wrigley Field the night before his own show in the Windy City. I believe the dictionary ...

Minor league GM offers to get in-game prostate exam

Monday, July 21st, 2014

We're pretty sure Harry Caray never did it quite like this. General manager Andy Milovich of the Class-A Myrtle Beach Pelicans has offered to receive a prostate exam while singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" for an upcoming game. Perhaps we need to explain this a little more in detail. ...

Celebrating the worst of the year in sports

Thursday, July 17th, 2014

Last night ESPN put out its annual "We need some filler on the one day of the year there are no sporting events" program, the ESPYs. We understand that some of you even may have watched. The ESPYs are billed as the Oscars of the sports world... which got us thinking. ...

Woe is Buffalo: America’s Most Miserable Sports City

Friday, July 11th, 2014

LeBron James' decision to return to Cleveland has had an unintended consequence: sealing Buffalo, New York's fate as the most mind-numbingly depressing city in which one can be a sports fan. For years, the competition on the opposite ends of Lake Erie was fierce and unrelenting. The resumes are remarkably similar: ...

Putting Germany’s historic beatdown of Brazil in context

Wednesday, July 9th, 2014

Few ass-kickings in sports history can measure up to Germany's 7-1 annihilation of host Brazil in the World Cup semifinals. It was Brazil's first loss on home soil in a non-friendly match since 1975, and tied a 1920 loss to Uruguay for the largest margin of defeat in the nation's ...

Jeff Samardzija ruled ineligible for All-Star Game

Sunday, July 6th, 2014

Hey now, Jeff Samardzija's an All-Star. But he can't get his game on and go play. And yes, I really am using this scenario as an excuse to open a blog post with Smash Mouth lyrics, because I'm dropping the gauntlet on the rest of the blogosphere's lack of awesome ...

Tim Kurkijan is a subpar sausage racer

Tuesday, June 24th, 2014

ESPN baseball reporter Tim Kurkijan made a foray into gonzo journalism by participating in the Sausage Race at Milwaukee's Miller Park during Monday night's Brewers-Nationals game. But to paraphrase famous Kazakh journalist Borat, it was not a great success. (Or maybe it was since we're talking about it). Kurkijan dressed up ...

Possible new names for Washington’s football team

Thursday, June 19th, 2014

It would seem the writing is on the wall for the Washington Redskins nickname no matter how hard owner Daniel Snyder continues to pound his drum and say "Hey look! I'm pounding a drum! That means I'm pro-Indian! Hey-a hey-a, hey-a hey-a!" The U.S. Patent Office canceled the team's trademark on ...