Archive for the ‘Accursed Sports Towns’ Category

King Ralphs

Friday, May 14th, 2010

Big ups to the Cleveland Cavaliers, who became the first team to trail by just three baskets with over a minute left to play in a playoff game and made no attempt whatsoever to stop the clock or get the ball back from the opponent. The pathetic ending aside, one other ...

Losers of The Week

Tuesday, October 13th, 2009

They were the LVP's of the last week in sports. Or maybe the MVL's. Some were of their own doing; others were mere victims of circumstance. But there were plenty of people who have come up on the short end of the stick in the past several days in sports ...

The Bills Are Back!

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

Not even Shakespeare could have dreamed of a storyline as glorious as those displayed by Dick Jauron's Buffalo Bills every time they appear on Monday Night Football. For the third time in as many years, the Bills have turned a near-certain victory into a mind-boggling defeat, cementing the heated argument that ...

Time For A New Commercial

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009

Advertisers were clearly counting on David Stern to orchestrate another dream NBA Finals this year, as seemingly every product shown during the playoffs was endorsed by the combination of LeBron James and Kobe Bryant. The much-needed orgasm of capitalism that our economy needs was supposed to ultimately culminate with the ...

Only the Cubs

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

There are certain bizarre things that seem like they can only happen to certain franchises. Only the Mets could open Citi Field by allowing the decisive run to be scored on a balk. Likewise, only the Mets could lose two games in the first two games of the season due to ...

The Chicago Cubs Have Arrived With My Ulcer

Monday, April 6th, 2009

Well, the moment has arrived for those of us who have the sometimes unfortunate designation of being a Chicago Cubs fan. And I'm not talking about you douchebags that show up at Wrigley during the year to drink beer and soak up the sun but don't know who that day's starting ...

Rise From Your Grave!

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008

Remember me? That's right, I'm Ken Motherfucking Dorsey. You might remember me from such teams as the 1999-2001 Miami Hurricanes. You know, the guy who went 38-2 as a starter for some of the greatest teams of all time. Back when playing for the U meant a damn. Beat that shit, ...