Author Archive

Browns fan ranks every loss since 1999 in order of pain

Wednesday, October 28th, 2015

If you are grasping for something to be thankful for this week, a good place to start is "not a Cleveland Browns fan." But if you are a Browns fan, worry not! We've found something for you that is a much more fruitful use of your time than leaping off the ...

Report: Bills forgot to charge batteries for QB headset

Sunday, October 25th, 2015

The Buffalo Bills were fresh out of batteries but still making noise in their 34-31 loss to the Jaguars in London. Unfortunately, that noise was static in the wireless headset between quarterback EJ Manuel and offensive coordinator Greg Roman, which does not help the cause when you're already as challenged ...

Kudos to ESPN GameDay for picking James Madison

Tuesday, October 20th, 2015

ESPN's GameDay traveling circus is going way off the radar this week, traveling to Division I-AA (FCS) James Madison as the Dukes play host to rival Richmond.  It's a big game at that level as JMU goes into the game ranked 4th in the FCS and Richmond 11th, but the ...

Cubs vs. Mets: Let It Be

Friday, October 16th, 2015

It was a lesson I learned early. Oddly enough, at least if you find coincidences odd, it was the last time the Mets and Dodgers met in the postseason -- 1988. My dad and I were out playing catch in the vacant lot next to our house when he asked who ...

Eddie Vedder keeps score at baseball games; rules at life

Tuesday, October 13th, 2015

You know what's really rock'n fuckin' roll? Not destroying hotel rooms or bangin' groupies or smashing guitars or tripping balls on acid. Nope, that stuff's all old hat now. The new rock'n'roll move is keeping score at baseball games. This fact was proven by Pearl Jam front man Eddie Vedder -- ...

Cubs-Cardinals: The playoff series that will kill me

Thursday, October 8th, 2015

If you're going to the Cubs-Cardinals National League Division Series, you'll probably need to rob a Brinks truck first. If you're going to get through the Cubs-Cardinals NLDS, you'll probably need to rob a Xanax truck first. The first rider of the Apocalypse is here, and we should all be terrified.

It’s about time the Yankees recognized their drinking problem

Tuesday, October 6th, 2015

Dating back to the days of The Babe, the biggest tradition in New York Yankees history is winning. And going back just as far, the second-biggest tradition in the Bronx is alcoholism. CC Sabathia is the latest Yankee to be swallowed up by the addiction, but thankfully he has come to ...

A love letter to Bud Selig

Monday, October 5th, 2015

Dearest Bud, I just wrote to say I love you. From the bottom of my heart. This may come as a surprise given that I haven't publicly said anything positive about you since, well, ever. But that was all a front. Privately, I've always admired your visionary genius, especially this whole deal ...