Lovie Smith a perfect fit for Buffalo

Monday, December 31st, 2012

On Sunday, I threatened to burn every piece of Bears paraphernalia in my wardrobe if they brought Lovie Smith back next year after becoming just the second NFL team in history — and the first not coached by Norv Turner — to miss the playoffs after a 7-1 start. A day ...

Kordell Stewart Retires. In 2012.

Thursday, May 31st, 2012

Dear reader, You may stumble upon this blog post thinking it is some sort of time capsule from 2005, but do not be fooled. What you are about to read is real, modern news. Kordell Stewart retired on Wednesday. Yes, that Kordell Stewart. The one who hasn't played a down in seven years.

GMs, Don’t Let Your Players Be Ex-Cowboys

Friday, December 16th, 2011

Memo to Chicago Bears GM Jerry Angelo: when a player is let go by a team as crappy as the Dallas Cowboys, there is probably a reason. For the third consecutive week, the Bears are looking like idiots thanks to the actions of a former Cowboy player. Against Kansas City the culprit ...

The Art of Being Tebowed

Monday, December 12th, 2011

I have never been teabagged before, but I can't imagine it feels any worse than being Tebowed. I've been trying my damndest (sorry for the harsh language, Tim) to think of what exactly that verb means since the Bears became The Pious QB's latest victims. I believe it would read something ...

KO To Return To Bears?

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

Like they always say, never look a gift neckbeard in the mouth. Quarterback Kyle Orton became available this week when the Denver Broncos pledged to full-fledged Tebowmania for the remainder of 2011 and waived Orton. The timing is perfect for the Bears, who have possibly lost starter Jay Cutler for the remainder ...

Chicago Bears Bench Both Starting Safeties

Thursday, October 13th, 2011

The Chicago Bears have, quite publicly, acknowledged that they need to fix things on defense. In fact, the team's two defensive leaders - Brian Urlacher and Lance Briggs -  claim to be really upset about how their unit has played. Well, apparently the coaching staff has decided to make a ...

NFL Week 2: Observations and Such

Tuesday, September 20th, 2011

Lots of things happened in the NFL this weekend. Here are my quick thoughts on the ones I paid attention to. - Mike Martz is a GD, MF-ing idiot. After Matt Forte gashed through the Saints defense on the Bears' second possession of the game, Martz decided it would be a ...

Bears Braintrust Back At It

Monday, August 29th, 2011

Now I'm not suggesting that the McCaskeys use the same photographer for their family portrait as the royal family does in "King Ralph," but... fuuuuuuuuuuuu*k, are they terrible at running a football franchise. Even when not directly making decisions, their aura of idiocy runs through the team. The latest snafu occurred ...