Eddie Vedder keeps score at baseball games; rules at life

Tuesday, October 13th, 2015

You know what's really rock'n fuckin' roll? Not destroying hotel rooms or bangin' groupies or smashing guitars or tripping balls on acid. Nope, that stuff's all old hat now. The new rock'n'roll move is keeping score at baseball games. This fact was proven by Pearl Jam front man Eddie Vedder -- ...

Cubs-Cardinals: The playoff series that will kill me

Thursday, October 8th, 2015

If you're going to the Cubs-Cardinals National League Division Series, you'll probably need to rob a Brinks truck first. If you're going to get through the Cubs-Cardinals NLDS, you'll probably need to rob a Xanax truck first. The first rider of the Apocalypse is here, and we should all be terrified.

A love letter to Bud Selig

Monday, October 5th, 2015

Dearest Bud, I just wrote to say I love you. From the bottom of my heart. This may come as a surprise given that I haven't publicly said anything positive about you since, well, ever. But that was all a front. Privately, I've always admired your visionary genius, especially this whole deal ...

No-no latest example of Jake Arrieta’s Cubs breakthrough

Monday, August 31st, 2015

No-hitters are random by nature (and not cause they hate ya). Hacky hurlers like Edwin Jackson, Bud Smith, Philip Humber and Bobo Holloman(!) have channeled that magic for a night while Hall of Famers like Greg Maddux and Pedro Martinez have not. The Cubs, long associated with ineptitude, managed to ...

Manfred should consider Wild Card Game tweak

Tuesday, August 25th, 2015

New MLB commissioner Rob Manfred has not made many waves in his first year of replacing Bud Selig, but he should consider a significant tweak to the Wild Card system this offseason. As things currently stand, due to geographical circumstance the top three teams in the National League all reside in ...

Cubs must NOT start Jon Lester in Wild Card game

Wednesday, August 19th, 2015

Here is a modest proposal for Cubs manager Joe Maddon: UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER CAN YOU START JON LESTER OVER JAKE ARRIETA IN A WILD CARD PLAYOFF GAME. That's as modestly as I can get the point across, at any rate, though some non-caps lock talking points would probably allow my ...

Video: Kris Bryant hits first career walk-off home run

Monday, July 27th, 2015

The Chicago Cubs were swept by an awful Philadelphia Phillies team over the weekend and appeared to be heading into the tank. On Monday night things looked bleak again against the Colorado Rockies, but rookie phenom Kris Bryant turned that narrative on its head with one swing. The Cubs led 7-4 ...

Cubs need to punt on 2015 at trade deadline

Monday, July 27th, 2015

In a way, this feels better than a September collapse, because they presumably got it out of the way before mistakes could be made and real heartbreak could be suffered. But this weekend's home sweep at the hands of the woeful Philadelphia Phillies, which included getting no-hit for the first ...