DEAR CAROLINE ROBERTO,
I DID NOT GO TO LAW SCHOOL SO I AM PROBABLY NOT AS SMART AS YOU. HOWEVER, I DO KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT NOT LOOKING LIKE A RAVING LUNATIC.
ONE OF THE BIGGEST KEYS TO THIS IS TO NOT TRY TO PROVE YOUR POINT BY SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS. IT COMES ACROSS AS VERY ANNOYING AND AT BEST WILL MAKE PEOPLE WANT TO GIVE YOU A SWIRLY. (If you had maybe questioned the charges against your client, now-former Penn State AD Tim Curley, in a reasonable manner that I might expect from anyone with a preschool degree, I might at least listen. But even if the legal case is flimsy, you are still a douche for defending an obvious douche).
OH, AND ONE OTHER THING.
YOU MAY WANT TO THINK ABOUT YOUR USE OF THE WORD “UNCONSCIONABLE” IN REGARDS TO THE STATE’S CASE AGAINST YOUR CLIENT, MR. CURLEY, AS HE DEFENDS HIMSELF AGAINST CHARGES THAT HE PERJURED HIMSELF AND ALLEGEDLY HID THE FACT THAT FORMER PENN STATE DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR JERRY SANDUSKY WAS RAPING LITTLE BOYS IN THE LOCKER ROOM SHOWER.
LET ME RE-EMPHASIZE — THE LATTER CRIME IS SAID TO HAVE HAPPENED MULTIPLE TIMES AND YOU FIND THE CHARGES AGAINST YOUR CLIENT UNCONSCIONABLE?
Here’s my verdict: Go f*ck yourself.