A MEMO TO TIM CURLEY’S LAWYER

November 9, 2011 – 2:20 am by Hickey

DEAR CAROLINE ROBERTO,

I DID NOT GO TO LAW SCHOOL SO I AM PROBABLY NOT AS SMART AS YOU. HOWEVER, I DO KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT NOT LOOKING LIKE A RAVING LUNATIC.

ONE OF THE BIGGEST KEYS TO THIS IS TO NOT TRY TO PROVE YOUR POINT BY SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS. IT COMES ACROSS AS VERY ANNOYING AND AT BEST WILL MAKE PEOPLE WANT TO GIVE YOU A SWIRLY. (If you had maybe questioned the charges against your client, now-former Penn State AD Tim Curley, in a reasonable manner that I might expect from anyone with a preschool degree, I might at least listen. But even if the legal case is flimsy, you are still a douche for defending an obvious douche).

OH, AND ONE OTHER THING.

YOU MAY WANT TO THINK ABOUT YOUR USE OF THE WORD “UNCONSCIONABLE” IN REGARDS TO THE STATE’S CASE AGAINST YOUR CLIENT, MR. CURLEY, AS HE DEFENDS HIMSELF AGAINST CHARGES THAT HE PERJURED HIMSELF AND ALLEGEDLY HID THE FACT THAT FORMER PENN STATE DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR JERRY SANDUSKY WAS RAPING LITTLE BOYS IN THE LOCKER ROOM SHOWER.

LET ME RE-EMPHASIZE — THE LATTER CRIME IS SAID TO HAVE HAPPENED MULTIPLE TIMES AND YOU FIND THE CHARGES AGAINST YOUR CLIENT UNCONSCIONABLE?

Here’s my verdict: Go f*ck yourself.

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  1. 10 Responses to “A MEMO TO TIM CURLEY’S LAWYER”

  2. Thought the exact same thing when I heard this obnoxious clown. Great post. Captured my thoughts perfectly.

    By Larry Brown on Nov 9, 2011

  3. Agree completely Larry. The all caps yelling is perfectly done. Kudos Hickey.

    By Ryan Phillips on Nov 9, 2011

  4. In the words of Wayne Campbell, she’s a psycho hosebeast.

    By Hickey on Nov 9, 2011

  5. CAROLINE ROBERTO: What part of EYEWITNESS dont you understand? How can you live with yourself defending this pervert? Really? Seriously? SHAME ON YOU. Words such as yours are what keep children in fear of reporting sexual abuse. Go to confession.

    HICKEY: Well written!

    By IMADZHELL on Nov 9, 2011

  6. Here in the good old USA regardless of your crime you are supposed to get GOOD counsel. I’m glad he doesn’t have one. She must be hard up for clients. Those who protect pedophiles are as guilty as the perverts. Maybe the Vatican has some openings.

    By makemepuke on Nov 9, 2011

  7. Hickey,

    As someone who did go to law school, and you are 100% correct in your analysis of this crazy lunatic.

    Booter, Esq.

    By Booter on Nov 9, 2011

  8. The Sandusky syndrome is not peculiar to Penn State. It is endemic to sports. The athletic community, though often highly compensated, can be sorely lacking in native intelligence and sufficient education for the positions they hold. How often do we see athletes involved in criminal offenses? Though sports programs are well funded at a time when higher education is in financial distress, when genuine education programs are being cut, they do not really serve the serious mission of an
    institution of higher education. The Sandusky scandal makes that clear. It is also closely related to the anti-intellectualism of American culture. Sports obsession and low
    levels of intelligence and education are
    coordinated.

    By Cathy Trione on Nov 18, 2011

  9. I am obviously late to the party but happened to stumble upon this this blog/rant.
    I know Caroline Roberto personally as she once successfully defended someone close to me. She is an excellent trial lawyer but most importantly and more importantly, a wonderful person. She wears her emotions on her sleeve, because she believes in what she is doing.
    I am not a law or PR expert so I won’t get into how one should handle herself on camera, but I find her passionate and convincing.
    Her practice is quite successful – she is NOT desperate for clients, etc. Also, the PSU AD (Curley) can choose whatever law firm he wants – for himself, he would only seek the best. I am sure he did his homework before choosing Ms. Roberto.

    By PittPatriot on Jun 13, 2012

  10. I too know Carrie Roberto professionally and personally. Her credentials and reputation for passionate advocacy are excellent and well earned. Throughout her career she has provided successful defense to persons wrongly accused and stood up to shield her clients from attacks, stereotypes and rushes to judgment. Her reputation among top judges, prosecutors and trial attorneys is exceeded only by the respect and gratitude she has earned from legions of former clients.

    By Janet Jackson on Aug 13, 2012

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