Wait, This Guy’s A Douche?

In news that is likely to shock the senses, the man pictured above is a total a-hole.

Golfer Rory Sabbatini is allegedly getting suspended by the PGA Tour after two separate incidents of douchery at Tour events, but we can only say allegedly because the Tour keeps all disciplinary matters private. (Uh, someone should let Tim Finchem know that maybe his paying customers might want to know why their favorite player isn’t going to be playing in a certain tournament. Oh wait, I’m talking about Rory Sabbatini, so that probably isn’t a concern).

Sabbatini apparently first raised the eyebrows of Tour higher-ups a few weeks back when he berated a teenage volunteer at the Northern Trust Open who tried to help him find his ball. Supposedly the volunteer placed an empty plastic bottle near a ball in foot-long grass which he thought was Sabbatini’s. Rory showed his appreciation by going apesh*t on the kid for affecting the ball until it was determined the ball was not his. In fact, the grass was so thick that Sabbatini and his caddie also found three other balls that were not his.

Hey dickweed, maybe if you hit it on the green you wouldn’t have to worry about yelling at teenage volunteers. As someone who worked in a similar role at that age, one of the most enduring memories I have is what a gentleman Gary Player was as I walked with his group for 18 holes, dispensing time, wit and wisdom to everyone involved. Perhaps Rory would be well-suited to take a lesson from the founding father of golf in his country.

That might have helped him at last week’s Zurich Classic in New Orleans, where he apparently earned his suspension by getting into a shouting match with Sean O’Hair in the middle of their round. Story has it that the two had to be restrained by O’Hair’s caddie, who is also his father-in-law, to prevent it from getting physical. Personally I think he should have let them rumble because I love the ideas of enforcers in golf, but that’s a whole other blog entry.

Anyway, this incident is not the first to paint Sabbatini in a less than flattering light. Back in 2005, he ditched playing partner Ben Crane because he felt he was playing too slow and walked to the 18th tee while Crane was still in the 17th fairway. In 2007, a few days after blowing the Wachovia Championship by shooting a 74 while Tiger Woods made a 69 (on the course, pervs), Sabbatini declared that Tiger was “more beatable than ever.” When a fan heckled him about it at that year’s Bridgestone Invitational, he had the fan removed. Then, as the icing on the cake, Sabbatini became the first player to withdraw from Tiger’s Target World Challenge, an invite-only event.

Rory Sabbatini, helluva guy!