Tale Of The Tape: Tiger Woods vs. Alex Rodriguez

December 30, 2009 – 1:51 am by Ryan Phillips

tiger-woodsalex-rodriguez

With Tiger Woods now allegedly shacked up with Mistress No. 1, Rachel Uchitel, and the falling of the Axis of Evil that was the pairing of Alex Rodriguez and Kate Hudson, we’ve been thinking a lot about these two athletes and their sex lives. We obviously all know about Tiger’s philandering and A-Rod was notoriously outed for stepping out on his ex-wife, plus after dumping the Queen of awful romantic comedies (Hudson) he was seen hitting on everything in sight the next day.

Rodriguez and Woods have also shared a mistress, seeing as how A-Rod has been linked to Uchitel in the past as well.

So of these two titans of sport, who is the sleazier womanizer? Time to break this down Tale of the Tape style. To be clear, getting points with this one is not a good thing. The sleazier Lothario will end up with the higher score.

Strikeouts
Woods: Mindy Lawton (the Perkins waitress), porn star No. 1, porn star No. 2
Rodriguez: Madonna, Kristin Davis (the Madam), Joslyn Noel Morse
Advantage: Woods

Hits
Woods: Rachel Uchitel, Jamie Jungers (before she gained 200 pounds), Cori Rist
Rodriguez: Kate Hudson (if she shuts up), Sofia Vergara, Uchitel
Advantage: Push

Wives
Woods: Elin Nordegren
Rodriguez: Cynthia Scurtis
Advantage: Rodriguez

Numbers
Woods: Somewhere around 19 right now.
Rodriguez: Apparently countless (but not very public) according to this.
Advantage: Push

Public Reaction
Woods: Shock, disgust, outrage.
Rodriguez: Malaise.
Advantage: Woods

Endorsements Lost
Woods: Gatorade, Accenture, Tag Heuer, Gillette
Rodriguez: None
Advantage: Woods

Image Recovery Since Revelations
Woods: N/A
Rodriguez: Won a World Series and admitted to using performance-enhancing drugs, so now no one cares about his womanizing.
Advantage: Woods

Creepiest Revelation
Woods: He’s really into kinky sex.
Rodriguez: One word: Centaur.
Advantage: Rodriguez

Verdict: 4-2 Tiger Woods

This isn’t much of a surprise. Sure A-Rod’s exploits are a little out there, but he’s managed to avoid nailing women who want to blab about it on national television. The wealth of creepy details now available about Tiger’s sex life definitely make him the creepier guy.

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  1. 9 Responses to “Tale Of The Tape: Tiger Woods vs. Alex Rodriguez”

  2. Excellent compilation. Image Recovery Since Revelations, Centaur, and Malaise push it to the top!

    By Tiger Woods Jokes on Dec 30, 2009

  3. A-Rod kissing the mirror was also kinda creepy. Although not as creepy as the centaur.

    By Living with Balls on Dec 30, 2009

  4. I think the media is putting to much emphasis in the personal lives of the big athletes,such as Alex Rodriguez and Tiger Woods. Everyone have the right to keep their personal lives very private and is no obligation in sharing intimate details of what is going on inside their houses.
    A lot of people like information about what they eat, sexual habits, color of the undergarment, etc, and not about their sport skills, productivity or all related to it.
    Alex has a few girlfriends? Its is ok to know the name, age, height or how she met him, but not going further. That is not our business.
    So, please leave alone to Alex, Tiger, J.Lo and all the celebrities.

    By Manny on Dec 31, 2009

  5. i think alex is the champ of young girls! andrew spark

    By andrew spark on Jan 1, 2010

  6. I don’t think that there is a man out there , who wouldn’t do the same things given the chance. Why don’t we all just mind our own business

    By fugitive on Jan 2, 2010

  7. CYNTHIA OVER ELIN NO CHANCE

    By tony on Jan 3, 2010

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