Do You Believe In Underwhelming Performances?

March 23, 2009 – 1:02 am by Ryan Phillips

It’s a trying time in America. We’re facing economic ruin, have enemies out there who want us to suffer and our standing in the world has diminished precipitously over the past decade. No one really feels that great about themselves right now. Facing those overwhelming obstacles, we all needed an inspirational performance in a sporting event, by a rag-tag group of selfless players who wanted nothing more than to represent their country.

Instead, we got a 9-4 loss to Japan in the World Baseball Classic semifinals with Larry King in attendance.

The newly eliminated United States team went 4-4 in the classic overall, a disappointing performance considering we invented the damn game. The US team had a few really nice wins, including a thrilling 6-5 comeback win over Puerto Rico last week. Sure those were great, but it would have been nice to have something to hang on our collective mantle at this point in our history. Derek Jeter is apparently too busy banging Minka Kelly to channel his inner Eruzione.

While injuries played a key role, the real problem for Team USA boiled down to starting pitching.

The combination of Roy Oswalt, Jake Peavy and Theodore Roosevelt Lilly combined for a 7.54 ERA.

They allowed 19 earned runs, five home runs and walked nine batters in 22.2 innings.

Peavy clocked in with a 14.40 ERA, Oswalt finished at 5.56, while Lilly wrapped up his WBC with a 5.68 mark. Yeesh. Way to stud out there guys.

Sure it’s spring training time and these guys are still getting a feel for their pitches and all that, but come on fellas, you’re representing your country, even Allen Iverson scored a bronze in Greece.

Truth is, we need to care more about this absolutely pointless tournament if for no other reason than the fact that the rest of the world cares about it. We need to assert our dominance in something, anything right now. Olympic basketball can’t be the only thing we’re the best at in the sporting world and there will never be a real worldwide football competition, so we need to improve in this damn thing. Plus, it’s on our soil. Japan whipped our tails on our turf and no one seems to care. The last time Japan came on our soil and slapped us around was at Pearl Harbor. And what did we do? We reacted appropriately.

Where is that “go-getter” attitude America? Time to get back in the game.

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  1. 4 Responses to “Do You Believe In Underwhelming Performances?”

  2. Sure those were great, but it would have been nice to have something to hang on our collective mantle at this point in our history. Derek Jeter is apparently too busy banging Minka Kelly to channel his inner Eruzione.

    I can see Tony Romo being whipped since he’s new to the Hollywood scene, but since Jeter’s been with this bimbo his head hasn’t been in the game. You’re probably right or thinking about banging the 22-year old he’s rumored to be dating. LOL Time for Jeter to retire to his hugh hefner playboy mansion he’s building in Tampa, 30,000 square feet should be enough to keep him busy with his bunnies. He doesn’t have to worry about paying state taxes either since he hates to pay them. LOL

    By Bunny on Mar 23, 2009

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