Cubs add Theodore Roosevelt Lilly to front office

Tuesday, March 4th, 2014

We're not ones to mix our presidential metaphors, but it is beginning to look like a Cubs World Series title is (manifest) destiny. See, the last time the Cubs were the kings of the baseball world, Theodore Roosevelt was in office. And after a century of tinkering (hidden Cub pun!) with ...

Ted Lilly retires, will baseball recover?

Thursday, November 28th, 2013

Major League turnstiles will surely take a hit next season as the game's biggest drawing card, Theodore Roosevelt Lilly, announced his retirement on Wednesday. Lilly was rehabbing in a Venezuelan winter league in hopes of getting back to the majors next spring after being released by the Dodgers this season, but ...

MLB Trade Deadline: All The Latest Rumors (UPDATED)

Friday, July 30th, 2010

Information is coming fast and furious as we near Saturday's non-waiver trade deadline in Major League Baseball. We'll just get right into what's going on at this hour. Berkman headed to the Bronx Multiple reports are now saying that the New York Yankees have a deal in place to acquire Houston Astros ...

Do You Believe In Underwhelming Performances?

Monday, March 23rd, 2009

It's a trying time in America. We're facing economic ruin, have enemies out there who want us to suffer and our standing in the world has diminished precipitously over the past decade. No one really feels that great about themselves right now. Facing those overwhelming obstacles, we all needed an ...

In Ted We Trust

Tuesday, March 17th, 2009

I wrote three full-length newspaper articles today, and now I'm writing this blog entry. Why? Because I'm a badass. Just like Theodore Roosevelt Lilly. In case you did not know, America is turning its lonely eyes to Ted Lilly tonight as the US attempts to stave off elimination against Puerto Rico in Round ...

Blame it on McLane, Yost is Toast, and Other Brew-haha’s

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008

After missing history at Miller Park Sunday night, I was not going to stand idly by as the Cubs took on the Astros once again Monday afternoon. Come cheese or high water, nothing would stop me from paying my penance to the baseball gods. Thanks to Theodore Roosevelt Lilly, I nearly ...