Newcastle United Has Its Priorities in Order

September 7, 2011 – 6:03 pm by Ashley Lough

English Premier League club Newcastle United may not be able to sign new star players, but they can sure bring sexy back.

This week, the club launched its own line of women’s lingerie, and at the same time, managed to blow a deal for 26-year-old striker Bryan Ruiz.

Newcastle United – owned by millionaire Mike Ashley – has a rich history of success with some short-term failure. The club has faced tremendous financial woes, failing to sell the club on several occasions in the last two years. In January, star striker Andy Carroll was sold for $56 million to Liverpool with the intention – according to club management – of reinvesting in more players. So far, that has remained to be seen, punctuated by the recently-failed bid for Ruiz.

Needless to say, fans aren’t happy. So naturally, Newcastle United made the only logical move and launched a lingerie line. On the team’s website, fans can shop for a variety of undergarments including bras, garters, nightgowns, thongs and more. The pieces are adorned with the Newcastle United crest, which features two seahorses holding up a shield (because really, what’s sexier than a seahorse?). Items run from $11 to $43.

Premier Lingerie, the “underwear specialists” behind the creations, supports the development by saying “women now form about a fifth of regular football supporters in the UK, but only between three and five percent of club merchandise is aimed at them.”

Newcastle isn’t the first team to sell lingerie, or even the first Premier League club (that honor goes to Wolverhampton), but the reaction is always the same: how are you broadening your female fan base with a product that only two percent of the population actually looks good in?

If it’s a shameless ploy to the male market, then Newcastle should focus on signing good players instead of sexy (or not-so-sexy) underwear. Or better yet, focus on the sport and forget bobbleheads or trivia on a jumbotron or tacky merchandise. Leave the slutty sexy referees to seasonal Halloween stores.

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  1. 8 Responses to “Newcastle United Has Its Priorities in Order”

  2. Please tell me the rest of you took up a collection and bought something in McD’s size…

    By Booter on Sep 7, 2011

  3. This…this cannot cross to America (though I’m sure it already has).

    As a Packers fan…please…please…PLEASE…don’t make anything with the word “thong” in the name in the green and gold. Not because I’m worried about dishonoring the storied name of the Packers franchise. No, it’s because I’m worried that fellow Packers fans might wear it.

    Mind bleach time.

    By MJenks on Sep 8, 2011

  4. Oh it exists. Although I don’t know what’s worse, the thong or that it’s called “Mystical Memory.” There is actually a LOT of sports-themed under garments floating around out there.

    By Ashley Lough on Sep 8, 2011

  5. In the words of Ralph Wiggum: I’m happy AND angry.

    Besides, I already have the NUFC thong anyway. Says “Carroll #1” on it. Sigh.

    By McD on Sep 8, 2011

  6. Football clubs worldwide do not provide enough products for sale to their female fan base, fact.

    Sales have been fantastic and this is proven by the hundreds we have sold to both Wolves and Newcastle fans, both Male and Female.

    It’s called Premier Lingerie for a reason and its top quality British merchandise.

    You should get some over the pond !!

    Thanks for the coverage.


    By Paul Robinson on Jan 23, 2012

  7. Ridiculous Newcastle, but it makes for a funny article.

    By Brett Peterson on May 21, 2013

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