With apologies to every game ever coached by Norv Turner, the Chicago Bears and Washington Redskins may have played the ugliest game in NFL history Sunday afternoon.
Being a fan of neither team, I watched the game from a completely unbiased perspective and, frankly, it was excruciating. I don’t know if the officials were smearing Vaseline on the ball between plays or what, but neither team seemed to be able to hold on to it. During the Redskins’ 17-14 win the second half was filled with drives that stalled because of turnovers, mental mistakes or just plain offensive incompetence. I can’t believe I sat through that travesty Fox continued to tell me was a football game.
Not convinced I’m right? Let’s take a look inside the numbers…
Washington fumbled the ball six times (six!!!!), losing one. Ryan Torain and Donovan McNabb each fumbled twice, while Chris Cooley and Brandon Banks each added one to the total.
-The Chicago Bears fumbled twice, losing both. Matt Forte – who people are still trying to convince me is good – and Jay “Droopy Dog” Culter each coughed one up.
-McNabb had a rough day throwing the ball, as he finished 17-for-32 for 200 yards, one touchdown, two interceptions and a 56.8 quarterback rating.
-Cutler had an even worse day under center. He finished 26-for-40 for 281 yards, one touchdown, four interceptions and a 54.3 rating.
-Cutler’s four interceptions all went to the same guy, cornerback DeAngelo Hall. Dude, Jay, stop throwing to his side of the field!!! I mean you’d figure that after three of them he’d learn his lesson. Nope.
-Hall returned one of his interceptions 92 yards for a touchdown.
-McNabb threw an interception in the first quarter that D.J. Moore returned 54 yards for a touchdown. Moore also had another interception returned for a touchdown called back because of a delay of game penalty on McNabb. So McNabb’s incompetence is the only thing that saved him from his incompetence…I think that was a Haiku.
-Overall the teams combined for nine turnovers.
-At one point during the third and early fourth quarter, there were turnovers on six consecutive offensive possessions.
-The drive that broke the streak listed above ended with Washington’s Graham Gano missed a 37-yard field goal attempt when he hit the left upright.
-The Redskins won despite gaining just 308 yards of total offense.
-The Bears gained just 322 yards of total offense, including just 66 rushing yards.
-The Redskins were 0-for-1 in the Red Zone.
-The Bears were 1-for-3 in the Red Zone.
-Washington was just 2-for-13 on third down.
-Chicago was just 2-for-10 on third down.
-The Bears allowed four sacks and eight quarterback hits.
-The teams combined for 14 punts for an average of just 34.7 yards. Even the punters didn’t show up.
-Bears speedster Johnny Knox was targeted 12 times but only had six catches.
I’m sorry but if that wasn’t the ugliest game since the invention of the forward pass I’d be shocked.