Take That America Jr.!

January 6, 2010 – 1:25 am by Ryan Phillips


I don’t want to cause a commotion that shakes the very foundations of the sports blogosphere or anything, but there was a monumental shift in the world of hockey last night. That tremor you felt came straight out of the heart of the buzzing metropolis that is Saskatoon, Saskatchewan at the World Junior Hockey Championship where the United States of America knocked off Canada 6-5 to win the gold medal. Woooohoooo!!!! USA, USA, USA!!!

Our boys went up north, knuckled down and brought home the gold baby! That’s right, take that America Jr., you foppish monarchists! Maybe you would have beaten us at the sport you invented if your heads didn’t separate when you talk!

We beat you at your own game, how does that feel?

You were supposed to be bringing a Dream Team to this event, anything less than a sixth consecutive gold medal in the event would be considered a disaster. Well you just had your own version of 2012 On Ice.

So, since you guys don’t know what it was like to have won the 2010 World Junior Hockey Championship, I’ll let you know what happened here in America while you were sobbing into your pillows.

After a scintillating overtime goal by John Carlson (sure to become a household name in the Eruzione mold) Team USA, and the entire country went into all-out celebration mode. The streets were filled with crazy, flag-waving patriots drunk on nationalism and poorly-brewed beer. Frankly, I have to give our nation’s police forces credit for maintaining order among the mayhem.

What, you thought we didn’t care about hockey south of the border? Well I beg to differ, in America we care about any sport we beat people in.

So here’s to you Canada. Thank you for giving our young puck-handlers a place to ply their trade. And thank you to your boys for at least hanging on into overtime just to make things interesting.

Oh and to thank you so much for holding the tournament in Saskatoon, we’re returning the favor by hosting it in one of our most majestic cities in 2011. See you in Buffalo!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

  1. 2 Trackback(s)

  2. Jan 6, 2010: Wednesday Link Dump: Starring a Couple of Big, Fat Idiots
  3. Jan 7, 2010: Straitpinkie.com Presents the Best Links From Around the Web | straitpinkie.com

Post a Comment