Wow Steve Phillips. What have you gotten yourself into?
Of all the crazed affairs, this one is pretty good. It even makes the Rick Pitino Restaurant Bangout Turned Embezzlement Scheme look tame.
Phillips, ESPN’s resident baseball moron, dipped his pen in the company ink. And now, he’s paying for it. The network has suspended the former New York Mets GM after reports surfaced about Phillips’ philandering with a 22-year old production assistant named Brooke Hundley.
“Hey Brooke, sweetie. Do you mind squatting?”
“Any particular reason, Stevie?”
“Yeah. I’m used to my Hundleys squatting. Now which do you want? The fastball or the slider?”
“Anything but the knuckleball.”
Now, if the story had just ended there, it would just be another “Who Cares What He Did With His Penis?” story. But it’s not. Ms. Hundley took it upon herself to write a lengthy detailed letter to Mrs. Phillips about the affair. And you can read it in all of its glory here courtesy of the New York Post.
It really is a must read.
But is Phillips’ suspension warranted? For what? Screwing another employee? After college, your place of work is always the best place to troll for ladies. Interoffice canoodling is to be expected. Harold Reynolds was fired in 2006 presumably because his sexual advance was unwanted. In Phillips’ case, it seems the affair was a little too consensual.
Phillips shouldn’t be fired for having sex with a 22-year old production assistant, unless of course he had a clause in his contract forbidding it. And if we learned anything about Phillips’ inept handling of the Mets, he probably isn’t the best at contracts in the first place.
I mean what do you expect when you hire young women at a station loaded with former jocks turned middle-aged sexhounds with an inflated sense of importance because they’re on TV?
The only person who should be fired in this instance is Hundley. She’s obviously crazy. How else do you explain the ridiculous letter she jammed into Phillips’ front door addressed to Mrs. Phillips.
I don’t know about you, but I know far too much about “a big birthmark on his crotch right above his penis and one on his left inner thigh.”
And don’t get me wrong, I’d love to see Steve Phillips off the air. But not because he nailed a 22-year old crazy chick and ruined his marriage. I want Steve Phillips gone because he sucks as a TV man. Why am I getting my analysis from a failure?
But maybe this will be yet another lesson for the male species. Ninety percent of women are crazy. And crazy chicks ruin lives. Just ask Rick and Steve.