Andre Agassi Knows Tennis and Also How to Party

October 27, 2009 – 5:20 pm by admin

andre-agassiBet you didn’t know Andre Agassi has an autobiography coming out did you? Well now you do. It’s scheduled release date is Nov. 9. Exhilarating.

Even more exciting is one of the juiciest details of the forthcoming book has already leaked: Mr. Agassi used crystal meth while he was playing professional tennis. More specifically, he did so in 1997. That’s some hardcore stuff. It’s not like smoking a little pot or doing a touch of blow. IT’S CRYSTAL FREAKING METH.

Perhaps that explains why Agassi developed a reputation as a party boy (I thought it was just the mullet) and didn’t win a major in 1997 after winning gold in the 1996 Olympics. If you recall, Agassi didn’t really resurface until winning the 1999 French Open and U.S. Open.

He then won a few more Australian Opens before retiring in 2006, marrying female tennis star Steffi Graf and having a couple of children, who are absolutely destined to be tennis stars right?

Just think, someday Agassi might have to explain to his kids why there’s this part in the book about Daddy that says he used CRYSTAL METH. Seriously, that’s something people in trailers do, not guys that won millions of dollars playing pro tennis.

Then again, millions can afford you a lot of meth…

Or just a lot of Crystal Meth Anonymous meetings.

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  1. 3 Responses to “Andre Agassi Knows Tennis and Also How to Party”

  2. 1. According to that goofy lines thing we have all over the text, you can click on a link to find Meth.

    2. I am happy we can please the ladies with a picture of a shirtless dude. They’ve been badgering us about this for some time. The fact there is also a mullet makes it better.

    3. These tennis dudes sure know how to party. My favorite story in four years at IU was definitely this one, even though I didn’t write it:

    The money quote: “I couldn’t drink one or two beers. I had to drink 30.”

    By Hick Flick on Oct 28, 2009

  3. without “leaking” such a lurid tidbit as the meth story, would anyone have even noticed this book’s release? anyone? that’s what I thought. Just a marketing ploy for a crap book. Sales of this book would be a lot higher if there were bikini pix of steffi graf.

    By cheswick on Oct 28, 2009

  4. Hey now! I live in a trailer and… fucking… um.. what were we talking about?

    By Cousin Charlie on Oct 28, 2009

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