This Is Creepy

March 25, 2009 – 1:31 am by Ryan Phillips

Let me first preface this post by saying that I wouldn’t be caught dead watching Dancing With the Stars. Anywhere. Ever. Not even the opportunity to see the painfully hot Julianne Hough in skimpy outfits on a weekly basis could get me into it.

That said, it was brought to my attention that one of the darlings of the 2008 Summer Olympics – gymnast Shawn Johnson – is a contestant this season. Now, I did some remembering and two things immediately came to mind: 1. Isn’t she like 4’2? and 2. Isn’t she like 16-years old? Answers: No (she’s 4’10) and No (she’s 17).

Her extremely gay dancing partner this season is the 22-year old Mark Ballas.

Maybe it’s just me but I find the fact that a 17-year old girl is sexy dancing with a 22-year old dude on national television a little creepy. Throw in the fact that she’s not wearing much and I’m a lot more disturbed. Maybe it’s my adherence to um … what are they called? Oh, right, laws. Sure, it’s just dancing, but for some reason this just feels wrong. I don’t know, I’m sure it’s great publicity for Johnson and a nice experience and all but there’s just something so, I don’t know, seedy about the whole thing.

This summer a friend of mine told me he thought Shawn Johnson was cute. But I knew he didn’t mean cute like “I’d like to get with that” cute. He meant cute like how a golden retriever puppy is cute. It might be adorable but you’re not going to try and have sex with it. Unless, of course, you’re this guy.

Here’s a clip from the show. Now maybe I’m being overly sensitive to this sort of thing, you tell me.

I’m sorry but the extremely gay judge at the end of that dance imploring her to be more “naughty and flirtatious” makes it so much worse.

The fact that the show is on ABC (owned by Disney) makes it even weirder. I guess that South Park episode was right on the money.

So, am I overreacting? Let me know, I’m perfectly willing to admit it if I’m wrong.

And I sincerely apologize for making you read a post about and watch a clip from Dancing With The Stars. I can honestly say it will never happen again.

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  1. 15 Responses to “This Is Creepy”

  2. You know what bothers me the most? That millions of people watch a show about people dancing. What the hell is wrong with society? I swear, the whole thing is almost enough for me to go Baptist.

    By Hick Flick on Mar 25, 2009

  3. Did the Rev. Shaw Moore write this post?

    By Booter on Mar 25, 2009

  4. puritanical
    1. (Usually disparaging) Strict in moral or religious outlook.
    2. Having to do with Puritans.

    By McD on Mar 25, 2009

  5. I’m far from Puritanical – as most of you well know – I just find a 17-year old girl doing this on national television a little creepy.

    By Phillips on Mar 25, 2009

  6. Only my grandma and the gays watch that show, so it’s not like anyone is actually lusting after an underage girl.

    And Julianne Hough is only, like, 20 and has probably been on that show since she was 17. Who’s creepy now?

    By Red on Mar 25, 2009

  7. lock me up…

    By BakersPapi on Mar 25, 2009

  8. btw… whats with the Cialis ad sellouts?

    By BakersPapi on Mar 25, 2009

  9. If you like reading this blog we need to sell things like Cialis if we want to keep it going.

    By Phillips on Mar 25, 2009

  10. The Baker himself brought this up in conversation this weekend…he gave a very detailed description of what she wore in the first episode and I’m pretty sure also admitted in some way or another that he would totally get with her. Creepy, indeed.

    By Mrs. Showtime on Mar 25, 2009

  11. Now THAT’S a revelation.

    By McD on Mar 26, 2009

  12. Here, Phillips, maybe this will help out:

    Gymnastics Motivational Poster.

    For reference, I’m pretty sure that’s Alicia Sacramone in the picture he used, who was 20 at the time. But, still, damned funny.

    By MJenks on Mar 26, 2009

  13. Mjenks is apparently my pimp.

    And if checking out hot chicks in skimpy outfits is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

    By moooooog35 on Mar 26, 2009

  14. Hasn`t she won like 5000 medals? Why ShaJo feels the need to be on a show like this is beyond me.

    By Anna on Apr 29, 2009

  15. 17 is “legal” in many states, and he’s only 22 (and gay)? Big deal. She’s hot, and I’m way over 22, and I’m straight. I would so totally go there. Sorry, but you can’t fight evolution. We’re programmed to seek out hotness.

    By thedude on May 4, 2009

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