Week Two College Football Roundup

Even though Indiana football is depressingly bad, Purdue is still just as bad. And that’s awesome.

Make no mistake, Indiana would have lost to Rice too, and it might not have been close enough for a blocked field goal to make a difference. But damn is it fun to watch Purdue be just as big a disaster on the field as Indiana. It’s not that IU fans don’t care whether we win or lose, we just want Purdue to lose no matter what. And Purdue doesn’t even have the great offensive mind running their program now like Indiana does. So we win until further notice. The battle for the Old, Oaken Bucket is going to be a real pillow fight this November for sure.

Notre Dame and Michigan are anti-clutch

Neither team did much on offense through the first half. Then it seemed like no one wanted to actually win the game in the fourth quarter. Except for maybe the officials, who did their best impression of cops trying desperately to hand out speeding tickets to meet their end-of-the-month quotas. Both defenses were just terrible late in the game, allowing each team a go-ahead touchdown late.

It was basically fait accompli when Michigan got the ball down three with 30 seconds to play that they would find some way to tie it. Then Notre Dame completely blew a coverage even though they knew Michigan would be throwing. Then Denard Robinson threw a prayer touchdown with two seconds left. And then Brian Kelly officially took a seat next to Rick Neuheisel and Mark Richt on the hot seat.

Ohio State 27 Toledo 22

The Buckeyes kept the streak alive against teams from Ohio, but looked really bad doing it. It’s impossible to say whether Jim Tressel would succeed with this team any more than Luke Fickell has so far, but this game may have been a harbinger for Ohio State’s season that Buckeye fans aren’t ready to deal with. Oh no, guys, you’re right, DeVier Posey will definitely save your offense by somehow making Bauserman a better passer. Yeah that makes sense.

Iowa State wins the Cy-Hawk Trophy in a thriller

Once again, this game marks the yearly tradition in which my Iowa-native dad watches the game, roots for both teams and reminisces about his childhood in Des Moines. This win may also be the only redemption for Ames, IA after letting Michelle Bachmann win the straw poll.

Auburn just wants to entertain its fans

Or give them all heart attacks. It’s hard to say. Nice goal-line stop on Chris Relf at the end though. And if Relf is really 240 pounds, then I was Bob Dylan’s organist on Blonde on Blonde. Go ahead, prove me wrong.

South Carolina at Georgia means no pants, defense necessary

Turns out the best Spurrier offense doesn’t involve a sober Stephen Garcia after all. But without two defensive touchdowns, this is an embarrassing loss to Georgia. And they’ll still have to explain how they gave up 45 points to Georgia’s tofu-flavored offense.

BCS Buster Watch: Houston is 2-0, Keenum still awesome

Houston beat North Texas 48-23, and Case Keenum threw five touchdowns. Boise may or may not go undefeated, but it will be an undefeated Houston team that makes the most compelling “F**k the BCS” argument this year.

Meet the new boss in Texas, same as the old boss

Texas fans were touching themselves at the sight of McCoy to Shipley again in Austin. Only this time it was Case to Jaxon, not Colt to Jordan. What were the odds that Texas would recruit a family of quarterbacks and a family of wide receivers who name all their kids with C’s and J’s?

It’s hilarious that the offensive staff and Mack Brown needed convincing that Garrett Gilbert probably isn’t their guy at quarterback. He’s got a good arm and is (probably) a good kid, but something awful happens when he’s out there on the field and directing Texas’ offense. Isn’t this exactly how Colt McCoy ended up starting when he was a freshman? I can’t remember, and I’m too lazy to look it up.

Week 2 picks record: 11-3 (W/L), 8-4-2 (ATS)

Season record after week 2: 20-5 (W/L), 14-8-2 (ATS)