McD’s Week Three College Football Picks

What I’m watching this weekend (and notice how I’m not watching Indiana this week because I’m boycotting any game in which we play a 1-AA squad):

12 pm ET - Don’t bother with the noon games this week unless you’re an alumni. I’m thinking I’ll take a nap. Oh hey, DVR’d episode of Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations.

3:30 pm ET - Texas at UCLA. Sounds like a pillow fight, but…okay it’s a pillow fight. But it’s an intriguing pillow fight. I’ll probably flip between this and Washington/Nebraska, which should be a massacre, but you can’t trust Nebraska if a team figures out how to contain Taylor Martinez on the ground.

8 pm ET - OU at FSU. Game of the week, after all. No one would bother with this if it were in Norman, though. FSU isn’t nearly as good as they seem.

Week 2 picks record: 11-3 (W/L), 8-4-2 (ATS)

Season record after week 2: 20-5 (W/L), 14-8-2 (ATS)

12 pm ET

(18) West Virginia (2-0) at Maryland (1-0) (-1)

The only noon game worth a damn, and it’s still in the ACC, so that’s debatable.

Pick: West Virginia

3:30 pm ET

South Carolina State (1-1) at Indiana (0-2) (Even)

Seriously? This line is even? Kevin Wilson better fix this sh*t quickly. F**k you, IU defense, for putting the team in this position.

Pick: Indiana

(24) Texas (2-0) at UCLA (1-1) (+4)

Read my preview of this game here.

Pick: UCLA

Tennessee (2-0) at (16) Florida (2-0) (-9)

Florida has been good, but Tennessee actually looks like it’s improved a little.

Pick: Florida wins but doesn’t cover

(15) Michigan State (2-0) at Notre Dame (0-2) (-4.5)

You have got to be f*cking kidding me with this line. What the hell has Notre Dame done to deserve to be a favorite after two awful losses? And now they’re giving 4.5 points to a top 15 team? Seriously?

Pick: Michigan State

Washington (2-0) at (10) Nebraska (2-0) (-17)

I don’t know if Nebraska can totally roll through Washington now that everyone knows Taylor Martinez can’t throw.

Pick: Nebraska wins but doesn’t cover

6:30 pm ET

Washington State (2-0) at San Diego State (2-0) (-5)

This game will tell you everything you need to know about the Rocky Long Era going forward for SDSU. If they beat a bad WSU team, things still look good. If they lose to them, watch for the death spiral to begin.

Pick: SDSU

7 pm ET

(22) Arizona State (2-0) at Illinois (2-0) (-1)

I’ll admit, I know very little about these two teams. This probably means I shouldn’t be picking this game, but whatever.

Pick: Illinois wins and covers

7:30 pm ET

(17) Ohio State (2-0) at Miami (FL) (0-1) (-3)

This is what happens when Ohio State plays close with a team from Ohio. Suddenly, everyone thinks they suck so badly that they can lose to anyone, even a Miami team more disorganized than them now being quarterbacked by Jacory “Turnover Machine” Harris again.

Pick: Ohio State

8 pm ET

(1) Oklahoma (1-0) at (5) Florida State (2-0) (+3.5)

Florida State is respectable, but my first impulse is to laugh at this line too. There is no way they can score with OU, so their only hope is to make this an ugly, defensive battle. What are the odds they pull that off?

Pick: Oklahoma wins and covers

Syracuse (2-0) at Southern California (2-0) (-17)

USC’s offense has been bad in two games so far, despite some records for Robert Woods. I can’t imagine that they’ll just roll over Syracuse, even if the Orange aren’t that good. Basically, it’s not time to trust USC yet.

Pick: USC wins but doesn’t cover

9:15 pm ET

Utah (1-1) at Brigham Young (1-1) (-4)

Gotta love following a tough loss to USC with their biggest rivalry.

Pick: BYU wins and covers

10:45 pm ET

(6) Stanford (2-0) at Arizona (1-1) (+10)

Andrew Luck is, of course, going to be a top three pick in the NFL Draft. We’ll see if Stanford can keep itself in the national title hunt too. Oklahoma State spanked the Wildcats pretty good, which means Stanford has to do the same to keep up.

Pick: Stanford wins and covers