Your Week Eight College Football Scores

10 am ET: We’re coming to you LIVE from Ryan Field in whateverthehellsuburbNorthwesternisin, Illinois!

Okay, not really. I’m still asleep because it’s the GD weekend and I’m sure as hell not on my way to Evanston to watch IU football. This baby-daddy ain’t got the money for that road trip. Phillips actually IS in Chicago, as is Booter at the moment, so shout out to both of them, and try not to get kicked out of another bar, OK lads?

See you later on all day for updates….

Week 8 Picks

1:34 pm ET: Indiana is up 28-17 at halftime. I’m afraid the Darius Willis is quite operational, young Pat Fitzgerald.

Ohio State looks like sh*t yet again even though they’re winning 7-0. But name me one quarterback who has run Jim Tressel’s offense at a really high level. It’s not like OSU was a quarterback factory until Terrelle Pryor got there. And don’t throw that Troy Smith bullsh*t at me. He had a fantastic running game and offensive line, not to mention the fact that the minute OSU faced a quality defense in Florida, they couldn’t barely cross the fifty. Pryor is all by himself with not one other playmaker and a mediocre line by Ohio State’s standards. It’s the entire offense that sucks, not just Pryor. Do you mean to tell me that what’shisname Bausermann would be a better quarterback at this point? That he’d be better at running the offense? Child please.

Arkansas is finally moving the ball, but Mallett’s inconsistency is just killing them while Snead actually looks pretty GD good and is completing over 60% of his passes in the first half.

Now to get some food and prepare for the second half vs. Northwestern….

1:47 pm ET: Aaaaaaaand just as I praise Jevan Snead’s first half, he gets picked off trying to get a last minute touchdown even though they’re up 17-7. Houston Nutt should not be allowed near an offense.

3:20 pm ET: Noon games updated. Bill Lynch must be fired. Today. Good guy. Zook-esque game coach.

5:34 pm ET: Hooray for Ball State finally getting a win! I have a feeling we’ll be mentioning this game next season as BSU’s only win in the last calendar year, though.

7:21 pm ET: Most of the late games updated. I’m going to see Saw VI with the wife. More updates to come. Hooray DVR.

Record after week seven: 77-45, 59-62-1 AS

12 pm ET

Indiana (4-3) at Northwestern (4-3) (-6)

Pick: Indiana

Final: Northwestern 29 Indiana 28

Where do I begin? First, whether or not we win out the rest of the way, Bill Lynch must be fired. He has no idea how to win consistently.

Going for a 4th and goal at the NU three when we’re up nine is about as dumb-ass a decision as it gets. If we had kicked the field goal instead of going for the TD, we would have won this game by two points. That’ s just unbelievably fucking stupid. Of course you take the points! You’re on the road, up by nine fucking points. The fuck good does a touchdown do us there? It’s still a two-possession game regardless of whether we get it or not. Either 12 points with the FG or 16 with the TD. That was as bad a decision as Gerry DiNardo ever made. It’s the kind of decision that keeps teams out of bowl games and losing to Virginia. The kind of decision that gets Ron Zook fired in a few weeks.

And I haven’t even talked about the actual play call on that fourth down. Lynch and OC Matt Canada put the fucking Wildcat package out there and called some kind of roll-out run/pass option play that got broken. After all the good work Darius Willis and Ben Chappell have done this season, Lynch sends out the Wildcat package to get a crucial touchdown. Seriously. What. The. Fuck.

I want this team to at least become an average team in the Big Ten, and we have the talent to do it. But we don’t have the coach. Lynch has absolutely no track record of being able to lead a team to consistency and solid play. He was bad at Ball State and he’s been bad here, except for his first year post-Hoeppner when IU went to the Insight Bowl. That one season has bought IU two of painful, inconsistent play, and you can see it’s wearing on the players. They’re good kids, but this type of shit kills a program. It’s time for a new leader.

Darius Willis only got 14 fucking carries AND WE WERE WINNING. Where is the commitment to the running game? Where is the basic fucking game management? Hell, Northwestern had 41 run attempts to our 27 in the game, and they were FUCKING LOSING for all but twenty seconds of the game. It’s fucking bullshit.

The defense got burned a ton in the second half, and there’s no excuse for that from the players, but this team still should have won even with that shitty defensive effort. Mike Kafka threw THREE INTERCEPTIONS in the second half. And still the Wildcats fucking roll down the field and win.

(On a side note, I’m really wondering just what the hell happened to Jerimy Finch. Is that one random senior safety we started alongside Austin Thomas really that much better than him? What the hell is the deal there?)

I’m sorry on a personal level, Bill. You’re a good guy, but it’s time to move on. Fix this, Fred Glass.

Record: 77-46, 59-63-1 AS

Central Michigan (6-1) at Bowling Green (3-4) (+8)

Pick: Central Michigan

Final: Central Michigan 24 BGU 10

Dan LeFevour didn’t throw for much though he did throw two touchdowns, but he ran for 128 yards and the Chippewa D held Bowling Green to 20 rushing yards for the game. I’m telling you. Dan LeFevour For Heisman!

Record: 78-46, 60-63-1 AS

Minnesota (4-3) at (19) Ohio State (4-2) (-16.5)

Pick: Ohio State wins but doesn’t cover

Final: Ohio State 38 Minnesota 7

Well, that’s the way to show up against a weak team, Minny! Way to give up 508 yards to a team that sucks so bad, people are wondering if Jim freaking Tressel is going to get to keep his job.

Pryor still only completed about 50% of his passes, but he threw two touchdowns and ran for 105 yards and another touchdown. So while he’s certainly not efficient in a way that’s meaningful, he made some plays today without killing the team too badly (only one interception). His mechanics still suck, the scheme still sucks, Tressel still sucks, but winning makes most things better. Although losing to Purdue ought to sting for a while. For IU fans, it stings for a whole offseason.

Record: 79-46, 60-64-1 AS

South Florida (5-1) at (20) Pittsburgh (6-1) (-7)

Pick: Pitt wins but doesn’t cover

Final: Pitt 41 USF 14

Yeesh. Looking at the box score, there’s no way Pitt scored all those points without some help. Except that’s exactly what happened. Pitt never punted, and Dion Lewis ran for 110 yards and two touchdowns. Perfect Pitt win because Wanny could ride his running back and keep the game out of his quarterback’s hands. His team rolls and the guy still can’t coach offense. Whatever, it’s Pitt. Who cares?

Record: 80-46, 60-65-1 AS

(12) Georgia Tech (6-1) at Virginia (3-3) (+6)

Pick: Georgia Tech

Final: Georgia Tech 34 Virginia 9

Yeah, because Al Groh was going to get his team to upset Georgia Tech. Good work, experts. Apparently, Orson Swindle and I were the only ones who thought Georgia Tech wins here. Shit, the Cavaliers only gained 198 total yards. You know, because Groh is a genius at sucking. Virginia’s not even a sleeping giant, so it’s not like they’re wasting talent here. They just suck. So there.

Record: 81-46, 61-65-1 AS

12:21 pm ET

Arkansas (3-3) at Mississippi (4-2) (-6.5)

Pick: Arkansas

Final: Mississippi 30 Arkansas 17

The Arkansas defense fell apart again, giving up 557 total yards to Ole Miss’s offense, which had sucked previously, by the way. They made a two-interception game by Jevan Snead look fantastic because he threw for 326 yards and two touchdowns. I really tried to watch this game during commercials for the IU game, but it was just unwatchable for most of the time. Hopefully this spate of horribleness by Ryan Mallett passes before his confidence gets screwed up.

Record: 81-47, 61-66-1 AS

3:30 pm ET

(13) Pennsylvania State (6-1) at Michigan (5-2) (+4.5)

Pick: Penn State

Final: Penn State 35 Michigan 10

Michigan isn’t ready, and it’s fine. There’s no reason to panic that they couldn’t keep up with a very experienced Penn State team. There’s way too many freshmen and young players going for Michigan at the moment.

The most shocking thing is that Penn State managed 35 points on some one. Especially when Daryll Clark didn’t have an amazing game and PSU only produced 394 yards of offense. Two lost fumbles by a young Michigan team will do that to you. An INT and fumble by Denard Robinson isn’t great either though. Anything else we need to know about this game? Um, no.

Record: 82-47, 62-66-1 AS

The Oregon-Washington Rivalry

(11) Oregon (5-1) at Washington (3-4) (+10)

Pick: Oregon wins but doesn’t cover

Final: Oregon 43 Washington 19

Yeah, I’d say Oregon covered. Yeesh. The Huskies actually ran more plays than Oregon and gained a respectable amount of yards, but the mistakes just sunk them and there’s no coming back from that. What, you thought beating USC was something other than a few key plays and a shitload of mistakes by USC? Please. Mitch Mustain or Matt Barkley starts that game and UW loses by four touchdowns. You suck, Aaron Corp.

Record: 83-47, 62-67-1 AS

Third Saturday in October

Tennessee (3-3) at (2) Alabama (7-0) (-14)

Pick: Alabama wins but doesn’t cover

Final: Alabama 12 Tennessee 10

Alabama gained 256 yards and still managed to beat UT. Crompton didn’t totally melt down, but he certainly wasn’t efficient enough to win either. And how did Ingram only get 18 carries?

So now Alabama looked like ass against Tennessee too. Is the AP Poll going to let Florida jump over them like Alabama did or what? Not to take anything away from USC’s first national title under Pete Carroll, but the fuck does the AP Poll know anyway? And yet there was a time not so long ago that they were the only reasonable people in college football. I seem to remember Ben Roethlisberger’s Miami of Ohio team getting ranked ahead of USC by Sagarin a few years back. And we thought that was enough of a reason to create a playoff.

Record: 84-47, 63-67-1 AS

The Keg of Nails

Louisville (2-4) at (5) Cincinnati (6-0) (-18)

Pick: Cincinnati wins but doesn’t cover if Collaros starts. They win and cover if Pike starts and plays.

Final: Cincy 41 UL 10

Can we pretend that I didn’t attach that caveat to my pick for this game? No? Fine.

Zach Collaros torched the Cardinals and Cincy blew them out bad. Enough said.

Record: 85-47, 63-68-1 AS

Oklahoma (3-3) at (25) Kansas (5-1) (+7.5)

Pick: Kansas

Final: OU 35 Kansas 13

Well that turned out to be a solid pick. I think I could have figured that out last week when Kansas lost to Colorado, but I’m just not that smart. So now they got their asses kicked at home against a very weak OU team. Todd Reesing was terrible today, throwing three picks and generally playing under siege from the Oklahoma defense.

I don’t understand how OU’s defense got better since last year. They were a truly awful unit and a liability for that fantastic offense last year. But now they’re holding Texas to under 20 points last week and Kansas’ offense to 13 points this week. They even held BYU to 14 points (or something like that), but they obviously didn’t score enough points to win that one.

Record: 85-48, 63-69-1 AS

4:05 pm ET

Idaho (6-1) at Nevada (3-3) (-15)

Pick: Nevada

Final: Nevada 70 Idaho 45

Colin Kaepernick accounted for six total touchdowns, and the bowl-eligible Vandals got a taste of just how good Nevada’s offense can be. This is scary for Boise State because Nevada is getting its shit together just in time for those teams to play on November 27. And you can bet I’m gonna watch that game if Boise is still undefeated. That’s actually the whole reason I’ve followed Nevada at all this season, or why I know who Colin Kaepernick is. I watched the Boise/Nevada game last year too and that was a very entertaining shootout. Could be an absolutely monster game this year with BCS implications and the whole shebang. WAC football: Who’da Thunk It?

Record: 86-48, 64-69-1

7 pm ET

(6) Iowa (7-0) at Michigan State (4-3) (Even)

Pick: Iowa

Final: Iowa 15 MSU 13

The Hawkeyes are still undefeated because of a last-second touchdown and now it makes sense why my dad called me in the middle of the movie tonight. Gotta love a winning touchdown on fourth and goal.

The real question is what to do with Iowa. They’re undefeated and seem to handle every close game with a shitload of clutchness. But that’s the thing. They do nothing but play close games and win really, really ugly every time out. There isn’t one thing they do very well except play defense. In other words, Iowa seems like a classic house of cards that should have lost tonight at MSU, but they didn’t. They still have a road game at Ohio State looming that will essentially decide the Big Ten title race. OSU helped Iowa by losing to Purdue, but that’s about it.

Iowa also happens to be playing Indiana next week. So there’s that…

Record: 87-48, 65-69-1 AS

7:30 pm ET

The Tiger Bowl

Auburn (5-2) at (9) Louisiana State (5-1) (- 8)

Go here to read my preview of this game for SECFootballBlogger.com

Pick: LSU wins but doesn’t cover

Final: LSU 31 Auburn 10

I love how 242 passing yards is Jordan Jefferson’s career high. That cracks me up. You know, because he’s not very good. I also don’t think it’s an accident that his success came because he found Terrance Toliver consistently. That kid is all kinds of money. LSU even got Russell Shepard into the act, and suddenly there’s less to complain about.

Not that that’s going to stop me. LSU still only gained 387 yards offensively and, though they got that long run from Shepard, they barely ran the ball. Charles Scott only got ten carries and Keiland Williams got exactly one. The Tigers ran for 133 yards, but 70 of that was on Shepard’s touchdown. That, friends, is another pathetic effort from the running game and the offensive line. Does the line just suck that bad and we can’t tell? Or does Gary Crowton just hate running the ball that much? Come on, Les Miles, you’re LES FUCKING MILES. YOU LOVE RUNNING THE BALL. Take care of that already for fuck’s sake.

Record: 88-48, 65-70-1 AS

(8) Texas Christian (6-0) at (16) Brigham Young (6-1) (+2.5)

Pick: TCU

Final: TCU 38 BYU 7

I just watched this game on DVR, and it was even more of an ass-kicking on fast forward than it probably was live. TCU’s defense is fully legit and can hold any team down. They’re that good. I have no idea how Gary Patterson gets that talent down there into the MWC, but he does and it’s a sight to see, friends. Shit, they held BYU to 298 yards, and a third of that was Harvey Unga! Serious respect to the Horned Frogs. This rivalry just turned into ownage because TCU clearly has BYU’s number. Oh, and Gary, if you ever feel like upgrading, IU’s going to have a job open soon…

Record: 89-48, 66-70-1 AS

8 pm ET

Oregon State (4-2) at (7) Southern California (5-1) (-21)

Pick: USC wins but doesn’t cover

Final: USC 42 Oregon State 36

How the hell did OSU get 36 points? I thought USC’s defense was good. Phillips was telling me just last week that this year’s D is just as good, if not better, than last year’s unit that was looted by the NFL Draft. This doesn’t make any damn sense at all. Shit, the Beavers even outgained the Trojans.

Speaking of legit, Matt Barkley is freaking good. You can see the development coming. His numbers aren’t going to be great this year, and he threw two picks tonight, but you can see it. He makes all the throws and it’s just a matter of game experience and maturity. This kid’s going to be a huge celebrity.

Allen Bradford also had a breakout night for USC (finally) and yet I’m still puzzled about how Oregon State got that many points. Sean Canfield torched the USC secondary, and that was supposed to be USC’s defensive strength too. I think Mike Riley might have Pete Carroll’s number. And that, friends, is a scary damn thought because Mike Riley hasn’t ever had anyone’s number. Get ready, USC, you’re going to see every team you play from here on out doing some variation of Oregon State’s gameplan tonight.

Record: 90-48, 67-70-1 AS

(3) Texas (6-0) at Missouri (4-2) (+13)

Pick: Texas

Final: Texas 41 Mizzou 7

Well that just about does it for Mizzou, but give them a break, they’re rebuilding. And just as I was talking all that shit this week about Texas’ offense, they come out and drop 400 yards of offense on Missouri. Colt McCoy threw for 286 yards and threw three touchdowns while completing 84% of his passes.

This is usually the part where I rag the Longhorns for not running the ball, but they managed 132 yards on the ground tonight. But looking at the stats again, I came to this realization: Missouri’s defense is terrible and Texas only gained 400 yards? What the hell? Oregon state dropped more than that on USC, and we know the Trojan’s defense is really fucking good. They’re still off. This is going to come up at some point this year. I’m telling you.

Record after week eight: 91-48, 68-70-1 AS

Week 8 Picks

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Week 6 Scores

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Week 5 Scores

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Week 4 Scores

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Week 2 Scores

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Week 1 Scores

Week 1 Picks part II

Week 1 Picks part I