Biggest Game Ever

At 3pm ET, Newcastle United is taking on Middlesborough in a game that could all but seal the Mags’ relegation to the Championship or nearly save them from it all the while making Hull fans very, very nervous. Even though the teams suck, you’re in for some very entertaining soccer. I’m not, because I’m at work. But you go ahead without me.

This is one of the times in soccer in which a draw simply isn’t good enough. Newcastle, Boro, and West Brom are all tied at the bottom with 31 points. The winner of this game draws even with Hull City, which is especially important for Newcastle, who finish their season against top-tenners Fulham and Aston Villa. It’s unlikely the Toon will be able to salvage enough ponits out of the last two games by themselves to stave off relegation (a disgrace which has never befallen the club since the establishment of the Premier League).

Boro doesn’t have a much easier road, finishing with Villa and West Ham, but three teams get relegated, so the Magpies have to play their way out. West Brom is definitely going down to the Championship, and may never be heard from again. So this all comes down to Newcastle and Hull. The Toon needs this win badly, especially because Hull finishes with Bolton and Manchester United.

There is a window here in which Newcastle can take a tiny bit of pride out of this abomination of a season. All the controversy and insanity won’t go away, but a win today and an escape from life in the Championship can make everything just a little better heading into the summer transfer season and next fall.

Win. The. Fucking. Game. Newcastle.