Eagles Aren’t Dead Yet

Sunday’s most stunning NFL development is not that Kyle Orton and the Chiefs beat the previously unbeaten Packers, nor that Dan Orlovsky and the previously winless Colts derailed Tennessee’s playoff hopes. It’s not even that the Bears thought there was a chance Caleb Hanie could pass off as a competent quarterback, though I must tip my hat to Hanie for possibly becoming the first quarterback to throw Pick-Sixes to two different extremely fat defensive linemen in his career.

No, to me the most amazing thing to come out of the day is that the Philadelphia Eagles have a very real chance of making the playoffs. Like Monty Python’s Black Knight, somehow they’ve stayed alive despite repeatedly having limbs chopped off.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Andy Reid, NFL, Philadelphia Eagles | No Comments »

Andre Ward vs. Carl Froch: Live Blog

Posted in Boxing, Live Blogs | No Comments »

GMs, Don’t Let Your Players Be Ex-Cowboys

Memo to Chicago Bears GM Jerry Angelo: when a player is let go by a team as crappy as the Dallas Cowboys, there is probably a reason.

For the third consecutive week, the Bears are looking like idiots thanks to the actions of a former Cowboy player.

Against Kansas City the culprit was wide “receiver” Roy Williams, whose billionth career drop deflected into the hands of a Chiefs defensive back in the end zone and deprived the Bears of a chance to tie the game, which they lost 10-3. At that point playoff hopes were officially put on life support.

Against Denver, former Cowboy running back Marion Barber was the goat, falling out of bounds as the Bears were trying to run out the clock in regulation, then fumbling as the Bears were driving into position for the winning field goal in overtime. Season over.

And now there is this.

Former Cowboy Sam Hurd put anything Williams and Barber could do — or rather, can’t do — to shame as he was arrested on charges of being a major drug distributor starting in his days in Dallas and continuing with Chicago, with whom he signed a three-year, $4.15 million deal this summer.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Chicago Bears, Cocaine, Dalls Cowboys, NFL | No Comments »

Dwight Howard: Trade Request Still Stands

Yes, the Dwight Howard trade saga is still going on. A day after the Orlando Magic said they were no longer listening to offers for the five-time All-Star, he claimed that his request to be traded had not actually been withdrawn.

Howard can opt out of his contract in July and Orlando general manager Otis Smith had given him and his agent permission to discuss trades with the Dallas Mavericks, New Jersey Nets and Los Angeles Lakers. Then on Wednesday the Magic told teams they were no longer listening to offers for their star center. When that announcement was made many thought it meant Howard wanted to stay in Orlando beyond this season.

Apparently that assumption was premature.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in NBA, NBA Rumors, Rumors | 1 Comment »

Todd Graham Tells Players He’s Leaving Pitt Via Text

Arizona State raised more than a few eyebrows on Wednesday afternoon when the school announced that Pittsburgh’s Todd Graham would be its new head football coach. Graham spent a lone year in charge of Pitt’s football program, guiding them to a 6-6 record before high-tailing it on the first train out of town.

While we’re not here to disparage Graham for leaving a job after convincing players to commit the next four years of their lives to him and promising he’d be around. No, we’re here to disparage him for informing those players he broke promises to that he was leaving via a freaking text message.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in College Football | 1 Comment »

Indiana Pacers Sign A Newborn For Frontcourt Depth

While David West entertained a press conference with all of two media members regarding his free agent deal Tuesday, the real story coming out of Indianapolis is the Pacers apparent signing of five-month old Jarrid Famous.

Or at least that’s what the Pacers official web site’s roster says (or said by the time you read this).

First off, awesome name. Though that’s a lot to live up to.

The scouting report on this kid says he dribbles too much and often times there are communication problems. But he’s got potential, and Larry Legend is always on the look out for the next big thing.

OK, so it’s obviously a mistake. But give the Pacers PR staff a break, the Internet is relatively new there.

Jerrid Famous, the second name on the above picture, also didn’t attend San Francisco as the roster says he did. He did go to a USF. Just not the one on the West Coast. Famous went to South Florida. Oops.

He averaged 8.7 ppg and 5.4 rpg last year for the Bulls. So I doubt the error will last long on the team’s web site. One way or another.

Posted in When PR teams get lazy | No Comments »

Kwame Brown Deal Proves NBA Owners Have Learned Nothing

Remember last week when NBA owners pressured commissioner David Stern into blocking a deal that would have sent Chris Paul to the Los Angeles Lakers because moves like that were why those very same owners had locked out the players in the first place?

Well, actually if I remember correctly the reason for the NBA lockout was the fact that owners claimed they were paying far too much for players and needed more room to maneuver financially. As a group, owners had given out so many bad contracts that they couldn’t get out from under them. The financial sustainability of the league was the actual reason for the lockout. And today we got proof that those owners have learned absolutely nothing.

Kwame Brown, who is statistically (and, not just statistically) one of the worst players in the NBA was given a one-year, $7 million contract by the Golden State Warriors.

Let that one sink in for a bit.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in NBA | 2 Comments »

See, I Told You I Didn’t Lose In Finland

Last week, I touched on the Hellacious Helenius Helsinki Hustle (channeling my inner Don King) when Dereck Chisora was robbed of the vacant EBU heavyweight belt. The hometown judges awarded the title to Finn Robert Helenius in a match people are calling “one of the worst decisions I’ve seen in the sport.”

In response, Chisora went all new-age on us and issued a rematch challenge to Helenius via his personal blog.

“And if he is man enough, he will put that belt back on the table, and I can promise the world, this time I will knock him out and mop the canvas with his head!”

Undoubtedly inspired by his gentlemanly handling of misfortune, Chisora will get a renewed title shot. However, it won’t be against the unbeaten Helenius.

Chisora’s blog entry hit a nerve with a belt-holding heavyweight, just not the one he intended. One sentence in particular drew the ire of a sleeping giant.

“Millions other boxing fans watching the bout on the small screens; and starved of a true and exciting heavyweight champion for years, felt as sour in the mouth as I did after the fight.”

So step up the untrue and dull heavyweight champion, Vitali Klitschko. Klitschko has offered the unluckily beaten Brit a lifeline - and a chance at the WBC heavyweight title. Reasonably, Vitali agreed with most of the boxing world that Del Boy was the victor last week in Helsinki.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Boxing, Dereck Chisora, Robert Helenius, Vitali Klitschko, Wladimir Klitschko | No Comments »

1-800-FACEPALM

The world’s easiest guys to root against, Jerry Sandusky and attorney Joe Amendola, have done it again.

On Tuesday, Amendola, who is defending the former Penn State defensive coordinator on charges of raping multiple boys, suggested that anyone who believed the story that then-Penn State grad assistant Mike McQueary saw Sandusky having sex in the shower with a 10-year-old “dial 1-800-REALITY.”

Well, one enterprising New York Daily News reporter did dial 1-800-REALITY.

And it is, no joke, a gay phone sex service.

I repeat, we are not making this up. Just like no one could make up the title of Sandusky’s autobiography — “Touched.”

So if you believe in Mike McQueary’s story, and also are looking for “bulging, bursting pleasure” at the “hottest place for Triple-X action,” now you know who to call.

Just keep in mind that it’s $2.99 a minute. At those rates, they might even be willing to simulate “horsing around in the shower.”

At this point we can only assume that Sandusky found his lawyer — the same guy who allowed him to be awkwardly interviewed on national TV by Bob Costas — by calling 1-800-DUMBASS.

Posted in Penn State | No Comments »

Dwight Howard Wants To Stay In Orlando Now?

The ongoing saga of Dwight Howard’s future home took another turn on Monday as he hinted that he wouldn’t mind staying with the Orlando Magic. Despite everything we’ve heard about how the superstar center has been pushing for a trade, he may have actually changed his mind and decided that Orlando is the best place for him.

On Monday Howard said, “If it is meant for me to stay here, I’ll stay.” That’s a far cry from demanding a trade to the Los Angeles Lakers or New Jersey Nets. Apparently Howard has softened his trade stance and the Magic are currently not planning on moving him.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in NBA, NBA Rumors, Rumors | No Comments »