See, I Told You I Didn’t Lose In Finland

Last week, I touched on the Hellacious Helenius Helsinki Hustle (channeling my inner Don King) when Dereck Chisora was robbed of the vacant EBU heavyweight belt. The hometown judges awarded the title to Finn Robert Helenius in a match people are calling “one of the worst decisions I’ve seen in the sport.”

In response, Chisora went all new-age on us and issued a rematch challenge to Helenius via his personal blog.

“And if he is man enough, he will put that belt back on the table, and I can promise the world, this time I will knock him out and mop the canvas with his head!”

Undoubtedly inspired by his gentlemanly handling of misfortune, Chisora will get a renewed title shot. However, it won’t be against the unbeaten Helenius.

Chisora’s blog entry hit a nerve with a belt-holding heavyweight, just not the one he intended. One sentence in particular drew the ire of a sleeping giant.

“Millions other boxing fans watching the bout on the small screens; and starved of a true and exciting heavyweight champion for years, felt as sour in the mouth as I did after the fight.”

So step up the untrue and dull heavyweight champion, Vitali Klitschko. Klitschko has offered the unluckily beaten Brit a lifeline - and a chance at the WBC heavyweight title. Reasonably, Vitali agreed with most of the boxing world that Del Boy was the victor last week in Helsinki.

“Chisora showed in his last fight, which he lost unfairly, that when his opponents are much bigger he can fight well on the inside,” Klitschko said. “I will take warning from his excellent performance against Helenius and train intensely and meticulously as always. I won’t let all his talking affect me.”

Now, Chisora is nowhere near as loquacious as fellow Brit heavyweight David Haye, who failed to show up for his Klitschko title chance last July against Wladimir. But Chisora has promised to send the 40-year old Vitali into retirement when the two meet Feb. 18 in Munich.

“I’m going to show Vitali Klitschko that his time has expired and send him into retirement,” Chisora said in an actual interview and not a blog post. “When his younger brother then wants a fight against me then I’ll be ready to bring all the championship belts to London.”

Chisora, then unbeaten, was scheduled to fight Wladimir Klitschko twice in the last 12 months (pictured above), but both times the Ukrainian champion was forced to pull out because of injury. And once healthy, Klitschko decided to fight Haye instead of Chisora, who subsequently lost to Helenius and Tyson Fury.

For Chisora, 2011 has been a crazy year. So it’s only natural that after all that has happened, things will come full circle with his long awaited real title shot. It’s just against the other Klitschko.