Ry-Noooooooooooooooooooo

Well, well, well.

Those a-holes from St. Louis are already back at it.

Just days after I clearly warned the universe that I would blow it up in the case that this happened, the St. Louis Cardinals confirmed that Ryne Sandberg will be one of “less than 10 candidates” interviewed for the opening left by Tony La Russa’s retirement. On the same day, the Cubs announced that they let Sandberg know they wouldn’t be interested in his services since they are looking for someone with big-league experience.

I can already see this ending real well.

First off, I’m not one of these people who thinks Sandberg has to be the Cubs next manager.

However, I do think it is foolish of Theo Epstein to automatically rule out anyone who does not have previous big-league experience for the job. An accredited outside-the-box thinker like Epstein is putting himself into a box by saying someone won’t even get a sniff if they don’t fit a certain arbitrary qualification. Let’s not forget that there was a time when somebody thought it would be a good idea to make Rich Kotite a coach because he had previous experience. After all, if you had previous experience and are up for this job, it’s only because you failed at some point.

I can live without Ryno being the Cubs next manager, especially if Theo brings in Terry Francona. OK, only if Theo brings in Terry Francona.

But what a slap in the dick it will be if Sandberg ends up in the Redbirds’ dugout. The very thought of it puts me on the verge of physical illness. I honest to God think I would probably cry if it happened. I went to the man’s Hall of Fame induction, for cripes sake. I’m not sure I could continue living in the United States with access to baseball information if this happens.

Botswana, here I come!

Of course, the Cardinals are very cognizant of this. Even if they don’t hire Sandberg, they will certainly get a kick out of f*cking with the minds of Cub fans for another two weeks. I really, really hate those people.

And if they do hire Sandberg — well, universe, don’t say you weren’t warned.