Who The Hell Is This Guy?

Quick, name the dude in this picture. No cheating. Here’s a hint: It’s not your loan officer. Or your physics teacher. Or former Sports Illustrated writer Steve Rushin.

Give up?

Yes, you have, unless you cheated.

The answer is Bill Haas, and apparently he’s the best golfer in the United States. This of course bodes very poorly for the state of golfing in the United States, but I suppose that is a whole other issue to delve into at a later time. After all, even though you now know that the above picture is Bill Haas, you’re probably still asking yourself “Who the hell is Bill Haas?”

The easiest way to identify him is as the son of golfer Jay Haas, which is why my initial reaction was “Whoa, how the hell did Jay Haas get into the FedEx Cup Playoffs? Isn’t he like 55?” when I saw the headline “Haas wins FedEx Cup.”

Anyway, Bill Haas walked away with a cool $10 million bonus after winning the season-ending Tour Championship, which clinched his title as FedEx Cup champion… despite not winning another tournament all year.

So how the hell does this make any sense?

It doesn’t, really, but that’s what the PGA Tour gets for devising a playoff system because of something they saw in NASCAR. If there is one rule that I try to guide my life by, it’s never do anything that you may have picked up from NASCAR. (If he’s so bent on borrowing NASCAR’s ideas, why doesn’t PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem bring their fans into the fold as well? If there’s one thing Augusta is missing, it’s shirtless people wandering around with cases of Natty Light).

But like they say, don’t hate the player, hate the game. Congrats to Bill Haas, the best golfer we’ve got going. Allegedly.