Don’t Shoot the Messenger

The beauty of the Chicago Cubs is the simplicity of their design. Just when you think they’ve lost in the crappiest way you could ever imagine, they find a way to do something even worse the very next day.

That was the case on Sunday, as the Cubs got swept by the rival Cardinals, losing for the second-straight day thanks to a walk-off home run by Albert Pujols in extra innings. This one would have been done in the ninth, but ex-Cub turned demon Ryan Theriot hit a game-tying double with two outs and two strikes against him. Carlos Marmol blew his second save in a week on that particular pitch, which cost Carlos Zambrano a win (not to mention a handful of fantasy points for myself).

After the game, Big Z went off, blaming Marmol for throwing a slider instead of a fastball when that was the pitch catcher Koyie Hill called for.

“We are playing like a Triple-A team. This is embarrassing. Embarrassing for the team and the owners. Embarrassing for the fans. Embarrassing, that’s the word for this team. We should know that Ryan Theriot is not a good fastball hitter… We should know that as a team. We should play better here. We stink. That’s all I’ve got to say.”

Considering that the Cubs have lost a lot of games in a row — I’ve lost exact count — and figure to be in a heated down-to-the wire duel with the Astros for the worst record in the National League, it is hard to dispute any of these statements, unless it was to assert that the Cubs are actually playing like a Double-A team.

Nevertheless, ESPN columnist Gene Wojelongpolishnameski took issue with Zambrano’s comments, saying that it is typical of Zambrano to point fingers at everyone else instead of himself.

Well yeah, Gene. That’s what you do when IT IS EVERYONE ELSE’S FAULT.

What’s he supposed to say? “Well, I should have pitched a complete game so Marmol never would have been put in the position the team is paying him a quadrillion dollars a year to be in.”

In conclusion, Woj decides that the best possible end to this scenario is for the Cubs to get Zambrano to agree to waive his no-trade clause, one of many brilliant moves made by the incomparable Jim Hendry — and believe-you-me, no one compares — and ship him out of town. After all, what use does a team have for one of its two starters with an ERA under 4.00, or the team leader in wins and innings pitched?

Yeah, ‘Los has always been a little loco. But in this case he’s also right. If Gene would like a list of people who need to be run out of town before Zambrano, here goes:

-Jim Hendry

- Rodrigo Lopez

- Scott Maine

- Casey Coleman

- Doug Davis

- James Russell

- Marcos Mateo

- Jeff Samardzjia

- Justin Berg

- Alfonso Soriano