Knitted With Love - And Perhaps A Dash Of Criminal Inspiration

If Super Bowl 2012 goes down as planned - and that’s far from a certainty - it will be in Indianapolis. There have been just two cold weather Super Bowls in the last 25 years (Minneapolis in 1992 and Detroit in 2006), so Indianapolis is taking measures to make sure its volunteers and visitors stay warm.

And no, unfortunately it’s not the old-fashioned, eskimo way, which apparently Indy ranks tops in the nation for. As an Indy resident, I’m outraged I’ve missed the boat. But that’s a tangent for another day.

Ten inmates from Indiana Women’s Prison have been hired to knit and crochet scarves, each sewn with the official 2012 Super Bowl patch, for the expected 8,000 volunteers who will help in preparation for the Big Game.

Jeez, Martha Stewart’s talents were completely wasted during her five-month stint at a West Virginia federal prison. Everyone’s favorite criminal starlet Lindsay Lohan would be too tempted to use the scarf to wipe away her nose bleeds.

Italicized text provided via the Indy Star:

For Sheila Haecker, Super Scarves is a first step toward life after prison.

Yeah, it’s her ticket out. Frankly, I’m surprised they’d let inmates make something they could hang themselves with.

Inmate Jessica Utter has made about 30 of them. She learned at 12 how to crochet from her grandmother.

And apparently Granny also taught her how to whore herself out for crystal meth.

The committee provides cards for each scarf maker to send a personal message to the recipient…With each scarf (Haecker) makes, she looks forward to including her own message.

“I hope you’re comfy, now get me the fuck out of here!”