Is This Still News?

Hold on to your butts… on Tuesday, a Florida Gators football player was arrested?

Yes. Way.

Receiver/returner Chris Rainey became the 27th Gator in the Urban Meyer Era to run afoul of John Law when he was booked for third-degree felony stalking after allegedly sending an ex-girlfriend a text saying “Time to die, bitch!”

Lawyer-type people are saying the charges won’t stick, and I happen to trust their opinion on this, because after all telling someone to die isn’t really stalking. Stalking is more following people around, peering into bedrooms, popping up in the backseat when they check the rear-view mirror, never leaving them alone. This is more… telling them to die. Or maybe he was just misquoting song lyrics. (He could have avoided all this trouble had he just chilled out and remembered the advice of these lyrics).

As of this time the school hasn’t disciplined Rainey, but Florida offensive coordinator (and former Indiana assistant!?!?!?!) Steve Addazio told the press that Rainey “is not a part of our team right now,” whatever that may mean.

Rainey has been in trouble with the coaching staff before, but not for anything malicious. He’s just an idiot, which prompted Meyer to say he’d never let the kid speak to the media again after Rainey said that some of last year’s teammates who are now in the NFL were “prima donnas and selfish cats.”

Said Meyer to the media after hearing that quote: “It’s our fault for letting him speak once a year. I can name some other things he said to the media, too, that is absolutely inappropriate. So take [what he says] for nothing. Absolutely wrong. Inappropriate, wrong, non-thought-out, which he does quite often.”

Oh, he doesn’t think? So maybe he shouldn’t even be in college in the first place?

Wait, he runs really fast. My bad.

Keep the classy gents coming into Gainesville, Urban. You’re a fine leader of young men.