Losers of The Week

They were the LVP’s of the last week in sports. Or maybe the MVL’s. Some were of their own doing; others were mere victims of circumstance. But there were plenty of people who have come up on the short end of the stick in the past several days in sports in even more embarrassing ways than usual.

Now, we celebrate these losers.

Bud Selig: Unfortunately, we can’t blame Bud for the lamest regular-season in recent history being followed up by the lamest postseason in… well, ever.

However, Bud Selig can certainly be blamed for the fact that TBS was granted exclusive coverage of all four Division Series. The coverage is bad enough, but the scheduling created by this monster of a contract is even worse.

For instance, Sunday was scheduled to be a quadrupleheader with the final game of the day beginning at 10 p.m. Eastern. That game between the Rockies and Phillies was one of the few compelling contests of the entire postseason, but one has to wonder how many people besides myself were up at 1 a.m. (2 if they were in Philadelphia) watching the thing.

Why not give each series to a different broadcast outlet? Or at least split up the AL and NL between two different networks. The fact that every game has to be pigeonholed into a certain times and there is no scheduling flexibility when teams like the Cardinals get eliminated earlier than expected adds up to a terrible recipe for showcasing your product.

Matt Holliday: His fielding error on what should have been the last play of Game 2 against the Dodgers will forever live in playoff infamy. Especially since the ball hit him in the nuts. The agony of defeat, indeed.

Troy Tulowitzki: Two days in a row, Tulo came up to the plate in the 9th with a chance to tie the game or send the Rockies to victory with runners in scoring position. Against Brad Lidge, the one closer who makes Kevin Gregg look like Rollie Fingers in comparison. Both times, he went down feebly — popping out and striking out on a check swing — to end the game and the season for the Rockies. That should sting for a few months.

Calgary Flames: They opened up a 5-0 lead against the Blackhawks on Monday… and lost. It’s only the second time in NHL history that a team has blown a five-goal lead.

Indiana Football: A 47-7 loss to Virginia? Seriously? This program will never get it right.

Everyone who doubted the Broncos: Which, by the way, happens to be just about everyone on earth. (With the exception of Bill Simmons, who boldly predicted the Broncos as his random NFL team to win their division this season. I humbly doff my cap in your direction, sir).

It’s clear that Josh McDaniels can coach, and with the emotion he showed after the win over New England, he also appeared to be far less of a douche than his mentor. And say what you will about the tenets of Kyle Orton, but all the guy does is win. This team won’t be going away any time soon.

However, those brown-and-yellow unis and socks probably should return to the bonfire they were placed in circa 1962.

Anyone in any way involved with the Browns-Bills game: The fans. The ball boys. The guys holding the first-down markers. All of you ended up on the wrong end of this crapfest by merely being at what may have been the worst game in NFL history.

In a battle between the two most hapless sports cities in America, Buffalo again came out on bottom with a 6-3 loss to the most impotent offense ever invented. And don’t think for a second that this is a case of hyperbole.

The line for Browns QB Derek Anderson: 2-for-17, 23 yards. Yes, you read correctly. And he didn’t get pulled. Not even Jonathan Quinn was capable of putting up numbers that horrific, and he is possibly the worst QB to ever wear a Bears uniform, which of course qualifies him for worst of all-time.

Despite Anderson’s incompetence, the Browns STILL WON.

How, you ask?

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the modern-day Rich Kotite: Dick Jauron.

Godspeed, Buffalo. And welcome to the heated race for the No. 1 pick in the 2010 NFL Draft.