Fail To The Redskins

Every year ESPN The Magazine releases an issue ranking all teams in the four major sports leagues from first to worst. So far the Washington Football Club seems like it is in a single-minded pursuit to claim the prize as the worst in all of sports — and even if Daniel Snyder’s organization somehow isn’t bestowed with this honor, there is no questioning that his franchise is the douchiest in North America.

The nickname alone had already given the team a nice running start. I will say that I think it was ridiculous for the NCAA to force teams to get rid of Native American nicknames and mascots, and that I find nothing offensive about teams named the Indians, Braves, Blackhawks, Fighting Sioux, et al.

But the Redskins? Really? Pretty hard to argue that’s paying homage to anyone. I don’t think the New Jersey Fighting Dagos would go over well in the Italian community, for instance. (Furthermore, how effed up is it that a team in Washington with a cool name, the Bullets, is the one that was forced to change itself to the Wizards while people still don’t bat an eye about the Redskins?)

Of course, that is completely irrelevant to the matter of Mr. Snyder’s complete and utter douchery.

There was the story from earlier in the season of the team suing season ticket-holders who could no longer afford their payments because of the economic downturn. One of them was a sweet old lady who had been going to games since 1962.

That karma carried over into an absolute joke of a season that has seen Washington lose to both Detroit and Kansas City, both of which claimed their first win of the year over the Skins. (And in the Lions’ case, their first win in two years).

Head coach Jim Zorn was stripped of his playcalling duties, with the ostensible reasoning being that no head coach would accept being so badly emasculated and resign. Instead, Zorn gave his bosses the bird and will continue standing on the sidelines with a headset on.

Naturally, those hardy souls who still shell out the bucks to see this sad-sack team in action are hardly pleased with what they have seen. Thus, some expressions of discontent might be expected.

Not anymore.

Washington has now banned fans from bringing signs into the stadium. Skins COO Douche Baggington David Donovan said that the sign ban is a matter of “fan safety and comfort.”

Hmm, that’s odd. I don’t remember you trying to protect fan safety and comfort when those signs were conveying a positive message.

Wait a second, an executive figure in Washington spewing out a line of complete bullshit? I don’t believe that’s ever happened in the history of the District.

Since signs are now banned in the stadium, I welcome any Washington Football Club fans out there to make their own here. A suggested starter:

BAN THIS, MOTHERF*CKER