Chris Fowler Is Mistaken

While flipping between channels last night I came upon the Georgia Tech - Clemson game on ESPN. Chris Fowler, Craig James and Jesse Palmer were in the booth bestowing their infinite wisdom on the viewing audience.

During the third quarter (if I remember correctly) ESPN came back from a commercial and showed two Beluga whales at the Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta. Fowler then remarked about the great caviar made from their eggs. I proceeded to drop the remote because I didn’t believe what I had just heard.

Um, Chris? Whales are mammals … they don’t lay eggs, they give birth to live young … just like every other mammal on the planet (except for five species of Monotremes, but they don’t really count).

Beluga caviar is made from the eggs of the Beluga sturgeon.

Now look, I’m not saying that everyone on the planet should know that but this is a guy who gets paid to talk for a living. Rule No. 1 of any profession where talking is the main focus: Don’t say anything stupid. Chris Fowler broke that rule last night. The point is, this was such a throwaway moment that had nothing to do with the game, Fowler didn’t need to say anything. Instead, he said something moronic.

Dude, have you never watched the Discovery Channel or Animal Planet? What about those Planet Earth shows or the Blue Planet series? Did you even pay attention in high school Biology? Ever been to Sea World? Nothing?

Look, Fowler seems like a decent fellow and so far he has succeeded at not annoying me while on College Game Day, but seriously man, don’t open your mouth when you don’t know what you’re talking about. This is the exact kind of thing Lewis Black refers to as the cause of brain aneurysms. Someone utters the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard, it gets into your brain, dances around for a few days, then a week later they find you dead in your bathtub.

If in a week I suddenly disappear for a few days, you’ll know where to look.