The Chicago Cubs Have Arrived With My Ulcer

Well, the moment has arrived for those of us who have the sometimes unfortunate designation of being a Chicago Cubs fan.

And I’m not talking about you douchebags that show up at Wrigley during the year to drink beer and soak up the sun but don’t know who that day’s starting pitcher is or what position Aaron Miles plays. Just saying.

The season starts tonight. Carlos Zambrano against Roy Oswalt in Houston, and to tell you the truth, I have no idea how to feel about it. Perhaps TheBaker and Hick Flick feel better about it than I do. Perhaps not.

See, the Cubs are once again the best team in the NL Central. Easily. The Brewers have taken a step back (Trevor Hoffman is their closer, let’s be serious here), and perhaps the Cardinals will be better, but the Cubs are going to win 90+ games and win the division.

Then the fun starts.

By fun I mean the playoffs, the part of the year that makes me want to throw up because the Cubs are a combined 0-6 the last two years.

It’s only April, so, as a Cubs fan, how can I actually be worried about the playoffs? I don’t know. I really don’t. I remember when my only salvation during a Cubs season was watching Mark Grace.

Now there’s a legitimate team on the field every year that can compete for a World Series but never does. Instead they get to the playoffs and take a dump.

But this year’s team is different right?

They said the same thing when the Cubs added Nomar.

The 2009 Cubs are more balanced. They have Milton Bradley (stoked about that, actually) and a more balanced lineup after the Dodgers didn’t use a single left-handed pitcher against them in the playoffs last year.

Plus, the starting rotation is as deep as there is in the National League. Big Z, Ryan Dempster, Ted Lilly, Rich Harden and Sean Marshall. The back end of the bullpen is good with Carlos Marmol and Kevin Gregg.

So it’s all there right?

Just like in 2003.

What can possibly go wrong? Well, we’ll find out starting tonight.