Puerto Rico Loses To United States, Will Never Become A State

Sure, baseball doesn’t have anything to do with statehood, but if Puerto Rico’s 6-5 loss to the United States last night proved anything, it’s that they’ll blow games in the clutch. And right now, we can’t afford to have more losers in this country. For now they’ll have to just stay a self-governing, unincorporated territory of the United States.

Our boys in red, white and blue were trailing 5-3 going into the bottom of the ninth in Miami last night. Then they rallied to defeat the team with a non-voting representative in Congress.

Shane Victorino and Brian Roberts singled off of J.C. Romero - who can’t vote for president if his legal residence lies within the limits of Puerto Rico - to start the ninth. Then Derek Jeter flied out, advancing Victorino to third base, before Brian Roberts stole second. Jimmy Rollins then worked a walk on a 3-2 count to load the bases. That prompted a pitching change as Fernando Cabrera took the hill. He promptly walked Kevin Youkilis to force in a run and make the score 5-4 with the bases loaded and one out.

David Wright then stepped to the plate. Wright - who is a citizen of a soverign nation, recognized by the United Nations and whose government is overseen by no other country - then lined a 2-1pitch down the right-field line, plating both Roberts and Rollins, winning the game for the US and setting off a celebration at home plate.

The Yanks have now secured a spot in the final four of the tournament, while Puerto Rico has been eliminated.

Last night was a “full circle” game for the “Commonwealth” as they faced starting pitcher Theodore Roosevelt Lilly. The Spanish-American War (which led to the emancipation of Puero Rico) made Theodore Roosevelt and his “Rough Riders” household names. Didn’t think about that, did you?

Well, now the Puerto Ricans can head back to their island and enjoy being an unincorporated, administratively autonomous, territory.