Every Rose Has Its Thorn

In this day and age, we don’t bat an eye when an athlete gets knifed.

Unless that athlete knifes himself. In bed. After carving an apple.

Bulls rookie star Derrick Rose was the victim of this peculiar attack, rolling onto a knife that he left in his bed after carving an apple. We can assume this means he fell asleep with the knife still in his bed, and possibly the apple core. It’s safe to say that this is the strangest bed-related sports injury since Glenallen Hill went on the DL after a nightmare about spiders.

According to the Chicago Tribune, Rose won’t miss any action. At least that’s the initial report. But he did need 10 stitches to close the gash in his arm. No word on whether he was licensed to carry a knife in his own bed. We certainly hope there were no teammates around to try and cover it up.

This is not the first time Rose has been derailed by a bizarre incident of this sort. During last year’s Final Four, he missed a media session because he got sick after eating too many gummy bears. Pooh, as his friends call him, appears to be a real-life Henry Rowengartner.

We can only hope that he won’t trip over a basketball and lose his powers.