So much to say

I never thought I’d title a post with a reference to Dave Matthews (unless it involved something along the lines of literally dumping shit into the Chicago River). Then again, I never figured that Rumors and Rants would turn into some fancy, classy looking operation, which Phillips has single-handedly managed to do over the past few months.

Anyhow, this past weekend provided so much good stuff that I’ve been left with lots to talk about. Or at least provide links to places where other people talk.

KO in action, courtesy of ChicagoBears.com

KYLE ORTON: THE BEST NO. 18 AT LUCAS OIL STADIUM

We warned you that it was time to re-mix the Super Bowl Shuffle when the Bears named the pre-eminent neckbeard wearer of our country as their starting quarterback before the season. And you thought we were joking.

Now, after watching the Bears stun the Colts on Sunday night, KO Fever cannot be contained amongst Chicagoans. Or even from Lindsay Lohan.

To top it off, now the Bears even have a better starting QB than the Patriots. Speaking of…

KINGS OF THE CASSEL

This may be the strangest item in the history of siblinghood outside of any time that Ray and Dave Davies get together for tea.

On the same day that Matt Cassel was thrust into the spotlight by taking over for the injured Tom Brady, his brother Jack, a September call-up for the Astros, was sitting in the clubhouse thinking that it would be cool if both of them saw action on the same day.

Sure enough, Jack got into the game… by taking over for starting pitcher Wandy Rodriguez, who left with an injury.

Only time will tell if Matt will continue falling in Tom Brady’s footsteps by being on the cover of GQ and bagging whatever supermodels are available (he already filled in on Tom’s radio show Monday), or if Jack will follow in Wandy’s footsteps by having a cool first name.

ODDS AND ENDS

- I was too lazy to create predictions for the NFL season that is now upon us. Mostly because I tried to forget it was happening, until the Bears restored my faith in football-manity. So that being said, check out DJ Gallo’s picks.

- It appears that Lance wants back wants to return to France in tight pants to race in next year’s Tour. I’m thinking that the e-mail from Tour officials read something like “Please, please come back. Oui are very sorry.”

No word on whether Team Astana, Armstrong’s apparent destination, has a cycling version of Aaron Rodgers blocking his path.

- I can’t believe that Bernard Pollard had to come out and say that he didn’t injure Tom Brady on purpose. It was a freak accident. Duh. But I guess d-bags like Randy Moss still have to be appeased.

- Don Haskins died this weekend. If you don’t know who he is, you should read this teriffic account from Yahoo’s Dan Wetzel. If I was an epitaph carver, Haskins’ would read “The Man Who Liberated Basketball From Only Being Played By Dorky White Guys Who Couldn’t Dunk.”

I don’t think I have much of a future in epitaph carving.