Most Glorious Day For North Korea

Thursday, July 26th, 2012

In an effort to make some extra dough at Rumors and Rants, we've decided to make a foray into public relations writing. Our first client is the People's Republic of Korea. Wednesday mark a great day in the most glorious history of Democratic People's Republic of Korea! In greatest athletic feat since ...

Oh Those Europeans Are So Creative With Their Racism

Tuesday, June 26th, 2012

Racism has been a major issue in European soccer, well, since ever. It's mind-boggling to us on this side of the pond that racism is so blatantly flaunted at athletic events. Unfortunately, Europe never really went through a Civil Rights movement like we did in the 1960s and 70s here in ...

Chinese TV Expects Euro 2012 To Turn Continent To Ashes

Monday, May 21st, 2012

Anyone who has visited Europe knows it's a beautiful place. And if you haven't? Well, then you better get there quick because the Chinese are about it to burn it to the ground. Don't believe me? Check out this Chinese television advertisement for its upcoming coverage of Euro2012. Maybe they're pissed about ...

Could Galaxy Gaffe Cost Obama Election?

Thursday, May 17th, 2012

I didn't think there was any chance I'd be voting for Mitt Romney this November, but then again I wasn't counting on Barack Obama making a disastrous gaffe that could lead to a Reagan or FDR-style landslide. Obama had the defending MLS Cup champion LA Galaxy at the Oval Office on ...

Chicken Runs on Field During Blackburn-Wigan Relegation Battle

Monday, May 7th, 2012

Who said Monday's Premier League relegation matchup between Blackburn and Wigan would be bad television? The early moments of the game were highlighted by what we'll call, "The Ewood Park Chicken," which made a cameo on the field, pecking around Wigan's penalty box. Wigan goalie Ali Al-Habsi and Blackburn striker Yakubu could ...

United States Soccer Fails to Qualify for Olympics

Monday, March 26th, 2012

The United States' soccer team will not be headed to the Olympics thanks to an epic goalkeeping gaffe. The U.S. Under-23 team tied El Salvador 3-3 on Monday night, ending its Olympic dream, but the play that cost them a trip to London will be remembered for quite some time. Young keeper ...

Roberto Mancini: Mario Balotelli Should Get Married

Monday, March 5th, 2012

A few days ago, Roberto Mancini was hailing Mario Balotelli as the best striker Italy has to offer. But in typical Balotelli style, it didn’t take long for the praise to morph into criticism due to the player’s infamous immaturity. This weekend, the Manchester City boss fined Balotelli the maximum allowable ...

Trinidad Soccer Team Turns Into Collection Agency

Wednesday, February 8th, 2012

Trinidad and Tobago's soccer team is known as the Soca Warriors. Not the Sucka Warriors. That's the message 13 Trinidad and Tobago World Cup veterans relayed to the nation's soccer federation Wednesday after going all "Operation Repo" on the governing body's offices. Still owed bonuses for appearing in the 2006 World Cup, ...