Author Archive

Gaddafi Straddled The Liverpudlian Fence

Tuesday, October 25th, 2011

Muammar Gaddafi's death this week sparked celebrations as well as outrage - all the while rocking the Liverpool soccer community. How, you ask? According to British newspaper, The Mirror, Qaddafi was a big supporter of Everton FC: "Everton's win against Sunderland will have provided some temporary relief for one of their biggest fans. ...

Indiana University Football Gets Taken To The Mat

Monday, September 26th, 2011

I'm sure our audience's patience has been exasperated by our insistence on bringing you constant ramblings involving Indiana University football. But hey, we're proud alums and apparently enjoy self-torture. But just when you think it can't get any worse, another fall Saturday rolls around. Luckily, I was at a wedding Saturday night ...

When Questionable Footwear Meets Joey Barton

Friday, September 9th, 2011

I hate Uggs. Can't stand them. Think they should be thrown into the Waponi Volcano along with Joe Banks. I'm no fashion critic (I leave that to my fashion designer brother), but the fluffy boots are aptly named (meaning they're ugly). I first started seeing these monstrosities while in college. Initially, it ...

Roy Keane Might Finally Have A Reason To Be Frosty

Monday, September 5th, 2011

He has a stare colder than William Edward Parry's testicles. Now Roy Keane might have the frigid address to match. The former Manchester United wrecking ball is supposedly in talks with Iceland to become the nation's new manager. No, I didn't misspell Ireland. Roy Keane, former captain of the Emerald Isle, is apparently ...

Polacks, Toilet Paper And The Chicago Bears Offensive Line

Wednesday, August 17th, 2011

The Chicago Bears allowed a league-high 56 sacks a season ago. Their franchise quarterback was chased from the NFC Championship Game because of the subsequent lack of protection. So you'd think the team would invest in improving the worst offensive line in the NFL. You'd think. There were plenty of good offensive ...

Imagine This Guy Having Sex With You For Six Years…

Tuesday, August 16th, 2011

...yeah, I didn't think you'd like that. And neither do Leeds United fans. A decade ago, Leeds United was playing in the Champions League. Now the famed soccer club enters its eighth consecutive season out of England's top flight and is getting more attention for Michael Sheen's masterful performance in "The ...

Maybe There Is Hope For NASCAR After All

Sunday, July 31st, 2011

Sunday was my seventh annual “Why The F*@k Do My Editors Keep Sending Me To NASCAR?” experience. I get paid to go to these races. So at least I have an excuse. These other 100,000 idiots,  I have no clue what they’re thinking (Actually, I do. ‘I’m gonna drink all day ...

Somewhere Jonathan Bornstein Is Crying Uncontrollably

Thursday, July 28th, 2011

Bob Bradley was relieved of his duties as U.S. national team coach Thursday. And it's not a day too soon. Don't get me wrong. I appreciate everything Bradley accomplished during his tenure, including beating world No. 1 Spain at the Confederations Cup and winning a World Cup group with England in ...