Few ass-kickings in sports history can measure up to Germany’s 7-1 annihilation of host Brazil in the World Cup semifinals. It was Brazil’s first loss on home soil in a non-friendly match since 1975, and tied a 1920 loss to Uruguay for the largest margin of defeat in the nation’s history.
But even a soccer power like Germany rarely beats the scrubs of the world by such a large margin. A look at German history shows that several nations that don’t have nearly the pedigree of Brazil have not been taken to the woodshed this severely by the Krauts.
Here’s a list of nations that have played Germany more respectably than Brazil could manage.
Biggest margins of defeat to Germany better than Brazil’s:
ARMENIA: 6-1, 2014 World Cup warm-up
AZERBAIJAN: 6-1, 2010 Euro Championship
BOLIVIA: 1-0, 1994 World Cup
BULGARIA: 7-3, 1940 Friendly
CANADA: 4-1, 2003 Friendly
ESTONIA: 5-0, 1935 Friendly
FAROE ISLANDS: 3-0 in both qualifiers for 2014 World Cup. Meaning an island nation of 49,000 people who actually eat whale meat allowed fewer goals to the Germans in two games than Brazil did in the World Cup semifinal.
GEORGIA, 4-1 1995 Euro Championship
ICELAND: 5-0, 1960 Friendly
IRAN: 2-0, 1998 World Cup
ISRAEL: 7-1, 2002 Friendly (finally, Brazil has some company. Also… I feel this match may have been a little uncomfortable for everyone involved).
KAZAKHSTAN: 4-1, 2011 Euro Championship
MOLDOVA: 6-1, 1995 and 1999 Euro Championships
MOROCCO: 5-1, 1967 Friendly
NEW ZEALAND: 2-0, 1999 Confederations Cup
NORTHERN IRELAND: 5-0, 1977 Friendly
OMAN: 2-0, 1998 Friendly (Oman!)
REPUBLIC OF IRELAND: 6-1, 2014 World Cup qualifier
SAARLAND: 3-0, 1954 World Cup qualifier (Saarland floated around as an independent entity from 1950-56 before voting to join West Germany).
SLOVAKIA: 4-0, 1941 Friendly (Something tells me Slovakia didn’t have much incentive to show up the Germans on the pitch in 1941. Or that it was very “friendly.”)
SOUTH AFRICA: 3-0, 1997 Friendly
THAILAND: 5-1, 2004 Friendly
TUNISIA: 3-0, 2005 Confederations Cup
UNITED ARAB EMIRATES: 7-2, 2009 Friendly
UNITED STATES: 4-1, 2006 Friendly
WALES: 5-1, 1979 Euro Championship
YUGOSLAVIA: 5-1, 1939 Friendly
So there you have it. Even at their very worst, those soccer “minnows” provided the Germans with a more formidable challenge than Brazil was able to on its home soil on the game’s biggest stage.