Tim Kurkijan is a subpar sausage racer

June 24, 2014 – 12:15 am by Hickey

ESPN baseball reporter Tim Kurkijan made a foray into gonzo journalism by participating in the Sausage Race at Milwaukee’s Miller Park during Monday night’s Brewers-Nationals game. But to paraphrase famous Kazakh journalist Borat, it was not a great success. (Or maybe it was since we’re talking about it).

Kurkijan dressed up as the Hot Dog for the fifth-inning race, which pits the traditional American weiner against the Italian Sausage, Polish Sausage, Bratwurst and Chorizo.

Kurkijan’s race starts in disastrous fashion — he initially steps the wrong direction — and doesn’t get much better from there. Early in the race it looks like Kurkijan is about to topple over without the assistance of a Randall Simon bat. Then, the rest of the field is going Belmont Secretariat on him by the time they’ve only reached the halfway point of the race.

Kurkijan shattered the previous all-time record for slowest sausage run (they keep track of such things in Milwaukee) by a remarkable 13 seconds.

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