When the douchiest team in hockey (Vancouver) added the douchiest coach in hockey (John Tortorella) this offseason, it looked like a match made in the type of heaven you wouldn’t want to spend any time in. Alas, it has not turned out that way, and on Monday night the Torts in Vancouver show reached its nadir as the Canucks allowed seven (7!!!!!) third-period goals to the New York Islanders (the ISLANDERS!!!!!) in a 7-4 loss.
The Islanders entered the game with the third-worst record in hockey, and the third period facing a 3-0 deficit. With Vancouver desperately pursuing one of the last playoff spots in the Western Conference, the only question wasn’t whether the Canucks would win, but if goalie Eddie Lack would finish off the shutout.
As it turns out, the rest of Lack’s last name is “Of Talent.”
Seven different Islanders scored, starting with Josh Bailey’s power play goal 1:13 into the period.
The carnage continued when Ryan Strome and Calvin de Haan scored 22 seconds apart before Frans Nielsen put the Isles on top three minutes later (goal not assisted by Hans).
Vancouver temporarily stopped the bleeding with a game-tying goal, but New York added three more from Matt Martin, Anders Lee and Cal Clutterbuck to close it out. The seven goals in a period tied an Islanders record set against the Rangers in 1978, when they were actually good.
It’s the third time it has happened to the Canucks, but it’s not quite in the same league as the previous two, which came against the Wayne Gretzky-led Edmonton Oilers in 1983 and 1985.
Video of the brutal onslaught of third period goals is below: