Greg Schiano stars in the worst ad ever

October 4, 2013 – 3:42 am by Hickey


Because of my schedule, I’m usually a couple weeks behind when it comes to reading my subscription magazines — which helps explain how an ad from the Sept. 23 issue of Time practically jumped off the page when I looked at it yesterday.

Staring back at me was the gap-toothed mug of Buccaneers coach Greg Schiano, which actually made me double-check the cover to make sure I wasn’t reading Sports Illustrated. Nope, this was Time. And Schiano was featured in a glowing advertisement for Raymond James Financial Planning that praises his leadership and — get this — ability to earn trust in his players.

“As a head coach you have to know who you are as a person and what you’re trying to accomplish… The values you believe in have to be part of the organization you’re trying to lead.”

Values such as leaking that your former starting quarterback was a participant in Stage 1 of the NFL’s drug program, which is a violation of his confidentiality rights? Wait, my bad, that totally wasn’t you who did that, Greg.

But wait, there’s more!

Upon arriving at Tampa Bay, Schiano laid out his three building blocks for the team: trust, belief and accountability. Futhermore, he tells his players that all three apply to life on the field as well as off.

To begin with, Schiano expects 100% honesty from his players: “If I know someone is going to tell me the truth, and not leave out part of the story that perhaps doesn’t put him in a great light, then we can work together through any situation.”

You mean like how the leak about Freeman being in the drug program didn’t initially mention it was because he tested positive for Ritalin, which he says he took accidentally instead of his prescriped Adderall? (Whether that’s true or not is another story, but certainly the original leak gave the impression Freeman was addicted to something, and it was an actual serious drug).

Or maybe how Schiano was 100 percent honest when he told reporters that the decision to put Freeman in a suite instead of allowing him on the sideline for last Sunday’s Bucs game was a “mutual decision,” which Freeman’s agent immediately rebuffed as an outright lie.

From the looks of it, the real-life Don Draper wasn’t the brains behind this particular advertisement. Something tells me that in five years we’ll be able to look back on it in the same light as those ones from the 1890s that recommend cocaine as a children’s elixir.

Wait… we’re already looking back on it that way.

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