It was a literal case of breaking news Tuesday night in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
ESPN broadcaster Dick Vitale managed to walk through a plate-glass window prior to the Ohio State-Michigan game he was calling, requiring medical attention to attend to his cuts. Fortunately, the injuries weren’t serious enough to keep Vitale from working the game or prevent us from making fun of him for walking through a plate-glass window.
It is understandable that Dickie V might not have seen the window coming. He famously has one glass eye — rarely do we get a game without him referencing this fact — so his depth perception is out of whack.
Alas, there is no footage available from the mishap, so it is up to our imaginations to decide how it all went down. In mine, it goes something like the scene in “Wayne’s World 2” where the guys continually cross the street holding a plate-glass window:
Wayne: Excuse me, what are you guys doing here in the middle of the street?
Chicken-man: Well, I’m putting these chickens in crates, and stacking them right here. Jim’s job is to make sure we always have plenty of watermelons.
Wayne: Oh, so you’re selling watermelons.
Jim: No, no sir. We just have to make sure we have plenty of them stacked at all times, just like with these here chickens.
Garth: What do these guys do?
Chicken-man: Well, their job is to walk back and forth with this big plate-glass window every couple of minutes.
Garth: That’s weird.
Wayne: Yeah, you’ve got to wonder if this is gonna pay off later on.
And boy, did it ever. We got a few chuckles, Dickie V showed he’s a gamer and then got to call one of the best games of the college season.
IT’S AWESOME, BABY, WITH A CAPITAL A!