NBA Christmas Uniforms a sartorial disaster

December 27, 2012 – 1:39 am by Hickey

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NBA teams unveiled special uniforms for this year’s slate of Christmas games, and they were the visual equivalent of a lump of coal in your stocking. These things sucked so hard that they made the Spanglish “El Heat” and “Los Bulls” uniforms look good.

Making the letters and numbers the same color as the jersey is a fundamental principle that should never be violated. Apparently the league thought it would be cool to buck that convention. Instead, it turned out to be one of the worst experiments in uniform history.

Here are a few of the others from each sport:

MLB

1976 White Sox Shorts – Bill Veeck was one of the greatest innovators in sports history, but his decision to equip the Sox with shorts for a 1976 game against the Royals didn’t exactly catch on.

shorts

Turn Ahead The Clock Night – In 1999, Major League Baseball ran a promotion that turned the traditional “Turn Back the Clock Night” of retro uniforms on its ear. While the concept was cool, the execution was not so much. Several teams wore uniforms beamed back from the 21st Century, and it became quite apparent that the present wasn’t such a bad era after all.

mariners-turnahead

NFL

1960-61 Denver Broncos – No expansion team is ever going to look like this again, we can assure you. Brown and mustard, complete with vertically striped socks, is unquestionably the worst look in the history of anything.

Denver60

NHL

Gorton’s Fisherman Islanders – A hockey jersey is the hardest to screw up in all of sports. Basically, the only way to mess it up is have a season where players don’t actually have a chance to wear them. Or two of those seasons in an 8-year period. Wait, where was I?

Ah, yes. The mid-90s New York Islanders, who decided to update their look as they began their fade from greatness to total obscurity. Everyone on earth noticed that the Isles new logo bore a striking resemblance to the guy on Gorton’s Fish Sticks boxes, and after a few years they went back to the look they abandoned in the first place.

12.fish-stick-uniform

COLLEGE FOOTBALL

Maryland Flag Uniform – By rule, pretty much every college football team must wear a stupid uniform at least once per season, or kids won’t come play for your school because it doesn’t not offer a chance to wear a stupid uniform.

But none of these nightmares have been quite so horrific as that worn by Maryland last season, which tried a bit too hard to incorporate the state flag into the uniform design.

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