Stevie Wonder And A Sports Scandal

July 12, 2012 – 10:55 pm by Hickey

The American media was rightly consumed by the release of the Freeh Report on Penn State Thursday, covering every angle from the fact Joe Paterno lied whilst laying on his deathbed, Penn State probably needs to receive the death penalty in football and Matt Millen is an idiot.

Wait, it took some people until now to realize that Matt Millen is an idiot? Talk about having your head in the sand… anyway, despite all the focus it turns out the Sandusky scandal isn’t the only one rocking college sports right now.

The other, clear across the country in Hawaii, involves Stevie Wonder. If we were The Daily Show, we might title this one “I Just Called To Say…What The Hell?”

The University of Hawaii has placed athletic director Jim Donovan and Stan Sheriff Events Center Director Rich Sheriff on indefinite leave while it tries to figure out what happened to $200,000 that was put towards hosting a Stevie Wonder concert to benefit Hawaii athletics.

The gig ended up getting canceled because — get this — Wonder was never actually informed that he was supposed to be doing a show in Hawaii. Apparently someone forgot to have the contract signed, sealed and delivered.

I wonder if Donovan’s defense is “But I showed him the contract! Right to his face! I swear!”

School officials say an investigation into the matter will be conducted by “an experienced outside party.”

Hmm… a case for an experienced private investigator in Hawaii? I think I know who they’ve got in mind.

In case Thomas Magnum is booked, they might want to look at bringing in esteemed L.A. P.I. Jeffrey Lebowski. He has a knack for finding large sums of laundered money and would be perfect for a case that looks to have a great deal of ins, outs and what-have-yous.

Or maybe they could team up for the made-for-TV special “The Dude, Magnum and the Case of Stevie Wonder.” After all it is conceivable that Walter served with Magnum in ‘Nam, making it easy to connect their universes.

Wait, I forgot this is actually a real case — just another that proves truth really is stranger than fiction.

Stay tuned.

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