All it took for me to completely give up on the concept of Americans still having testicles was Jeremy Lin and some frozen yogurt.
In the midst of Linsanity, Ben & Jerry’s — you know, the ice cream hippies who have bestowed us such delicious and uniquely named flavors as Cherry Garcia, Chunky Monkey, Phish Food and Jamaican Me Crazy — joined into the fray. (A band which they have fortunately not named any ice cream after).
In Boston, Ben & Jerry honored Lin, a Harvard grad, with a flavor called “Taste The Lin-Sanity,” which featured vanilla frozen yogurt, honey swirls and OHMYGODFORTHELOVEOFCHRISTCOVERYOUREYES real bits of fortune cookie. It seemed like a fitting homage since the fortune cookie is associated with Chinese culture but was actually created in the US — just like Lin.
Unfortunately, some pantywaist didn’t see things that way.
The fortune cookies have been replaced with waffle cones, since clearly any association of a person with their ethnicity is racist.
“We offer a heartfelt apology if anyone was offended by our handmade Lin-Sanity flavor,” was an actual statement from Ben & Jerry’s.
If anyone was offended by the Lin-Sanity flavor, I would like to offer them a heartfelt kick in the nuts. Assuming, of course, that you have any. How anyone can be offended by what is clearly meant to be an homage to one of the most electrifying athletes to come along in years is beyond me.
Clearly it would appear Ben & Jerry are overreacting after the whole “Chink in the Armor” headline fiasco at ESPN last week, only the difference is that the word “chink” is actually offensive. I’ve never been chased out of a Chinese restaurant for eating a fortune cookie.
But hey, them’s the times we’re livin’ in. I guess I just need to embrace the future. Maybe I’ll start by protesting McDonald’s Shamrock Shake, a frozen dairy product that is clearly insensitive to the struggles of my ancestors.