Without question, the most underplayed story from this week in sports is the one where Roy Halladay rescues a guy in the Amazon who had just been attacked by an anaconda. No, seriously.
Halladay was on a fishing expedition with former teammates Chris Carpenter and B.J. Ryan and pro angler Skeet Reese (do you think Skeet gets jealous that they don’t invite him to go pitching with them?) when he encountered a local man hiding in a tree with an anaconda bite mark on his buttocks.
It turns out the snake attacked the guy while he was fishing, then wrapped itself around his boat motor and destroyed it, which destroyed his chances of escaping. Hence, guy hanging out in a tree until Roy Halladay shows up.
As a Cub fan, I am disappointed to report that Carpenter escaped the jungle with a mere bruise on his foot as opposed to being eaten by a snake or piranhas. (Just kidding! Maybe). However, the adventure did at least give us an excuse to create a new movie poster for the inevitable new installment in the Anaconda series.
Poster photoshop work courtesy of our friend, Thporth