Your Conference Re-Alignment Update For 9/22

September 21, 2011 – 5:19 pm by McD

I swear this is the last one of these for the week. I’m writing some game previews for Thursday and my picks come out Friday, so to heck with this…after today.

Missouri, you ignorant sluts

The SEC, Missouri? Really? They must really want to be LSU or Alabama’s girlfriend and hold onto their pockets during yard time in the SEC West. Because joining the SEC would be a death sentence for Missouri football. A death sentence. They think it’s tough competing with Oklahoma and Texas and the Big XII North? Wait ’til the big boys get a look at Pinkel’s ridiculous spread offense and pathetic defense.

And no, it wouldn’t help recruiting. If anything, none of the kids they get out of Texas would care about playing Ole Miss or Vanderbilt or Georgia anyway. At least, not if Mack Brown’s sentimentality is right.

Plus, the SEC immediately denied any such offer or “informal” offer existed. Conspiracy theorists might mention that the SEC might be a little worried that Texas A&M might be staying in the Big XII after all and are a little pissed about potentially being burned. Perfectly understandable. But the best guess is the SEC, which makes all decisions based solely on football quality apparently, is not in a mood to devalue their product, what with the SEC East being laughably bad last year and Ole Miss and Georgia being laugh-out-loud bad this year.

Big East fantasy booking

Conference re-alignment has turned college football writers into IWC smarks (are the links condescending? I can’t tell how many people are wrestling nerds like me) who are coming up with all kinds of scenarios for every possible move. The latest fun thing to do is come up with underwhelming ideas for the Big East to replace Syracuse and Pitt. If my conference’s potential new members included one or more service academies, I’d think about packing it all in. Especially if freaking West Virginia and freaking UConn get to release so-vague-they’re-hostile statements like this.

Conference Mountain USA-West? (The name needs work)

There’s some old saying about history happening twice: first as tragedy then as farce. Or something like that. Anyway, the Mountain West and Conference USA un-ironically talking full-on, 22-team conference merger in the wake of re-alignment amongst the bigs is just hilarious. This would be the most BCS-era merger of all time. Look! There’s so many of us! Give us an automatic bid! We’ll even settle for the Fiesta Bowl!

Or maybe the MWC is thinking long-term. That if there is major re-alignment that the BCS would have to adapt because four conference champions just isn’t enough for all the BCS bowl slots. Nah, they’re not that smart.

Kansas wants to stay in the Big XII

Because where the hell else would it go if Missouri somehow, magically, ended up anywhere else? The Big Ten is an outside shot, but only if they can get both and only if the stodgiest conference in football decides it wants to share the network money 14 ways. Not likely, though basketball season would be f-ing amazing. You know, once Indiana starts working the program and has a sponsor.

Texas will share (yeah right)

Texas said they would be open to revenue sharing including television money EXCEPT for revenue from the Longhorn Network, which is literally half of the problem the other schools have with them anyway. So yeah, OU can still stick it as far as UT is concerned.

The real reason Texas is saying anything at all is because the Pac-12 doesn’t want to expand and probably REALLY doesn’t want a high-maintenance girlfriend like Texas moving in so soon after they’ve met. It’s just too much too fast. They’re just getting to know Colorado and Utah and don’t want to screw up the chemistry yet.

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