Archive for September, 2011

Vikes Make Adrian Peterson Highest-Paid Slave In History

Saturday, September 10th, 2011

In March, Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson commented that being an NFL player was comparable to "modern-day slavery." By that line of thinking, Peterson became the highest-paid slave in world history on Saturday when the Vikes inked him to a seven-year, $100 million deal with $36 million guaranteed. Prior to the ...

Indiana Fails Their Way To An 0-2 Start

Saturday, September 10th, 2011

Most people expect a rough transition when a new coach comes in and tries to take players who are, for the most part, used to losing and tries to instill a winning culture in the program. This is why no one freaked out when Indiana and new coach Kevin Wilson ...

Arian Foster Now Likely Out For Opener

Friday, September 9th, 2011

For the last week it has looked like Houston Texans running back Arian Foster would actually recover from his injured hamstring in time to play in the team's Week 1 opener on Sunday. Well, that may have just changed. Foster has missed three straight days of practice, including Friday's session. That's ...

McD’s College Football Week Two Picks

Friday, September 9th, 2011

I honestly couldn't find a game I care about previewing in depth this week. Not for a lack of good games, just none of them have a hook or anything interesting happening. The potential conference meltdown has sucked all the fun out of this week. Plus it's time for a ...

Ladies and Gentlemen, Your L.A. Jaguars!

Friday, September 9th, 2011

Thursday night's thriller between the Packers and Saints provided an emphatic statement of why people were so worried during the NFL lockout. It definitely would have sucked to miss that one and all the rest of 'em this season. Unless, of course, you are that rare breed known as the Jacksonville ...

When Questionable Footwear Meets Joey Barton

Friday, September 9th, 2011

I hate Uggs. Can't stand them. Think they should be thrown into the Waponi Volcano along with Joe Banks. I'm no fashion critic (I leave that to my fashion designer brother), but the fluffy boots are aptly named (meaning they're ugly). I first started seeing these monstrosities while in college. Initially, it ...

Schools The Big Ten Should Pursue (Should The Conference Apocalypse II Happen)

Thursday, September 8th, 2011

Now that Texas A&M is in the process of destroying the bloated spawn of the Southern Conference, most people seem to think a free-for-all is going to ensue as the Big XII has its death throes. And as any Wall Street scum will tell you, when a huge institution is ...

Chargers Punter Mike Scifres Gets Paid

Thursday, September 8th, 2011

The San Diego Chargers just forked over roughly $19 million ($10 million guaranteed) to a punter. Let that one soak in for a minute. The Chargers gave Mike Scifres a five-year extension that will keep him in San Diego through 2016 and pay him a ridiculous sum of money for a ...

Newcastle United Has Its Priorities in Order

Wednesday, September 7th, 2011

English Premier League club Newcastle United may not be able to sign new star players, but they can sure bring sexy back. This week, the club launched its own line of women's lingerie, and at the same time, managed to blow a deal for 26-year-old striker Bryan Ruiz. Newcastle United - owned ...

Kevin Wilson Solves Hoosiers’ Woes

Wednesday, September 7th, 2011

For decades, Indiana fans have wondered why their football team sucks so badly. Fortunately, new coach Kevin Wilson has finally gotten to the root of the problem. In an earth-shattering decision delivered on Tuesday, Wilson announced that the Hoosiers will be moving their sideline from the west side of Memorial Stadium to ...