Ladies and gentlemen, our first story today is about a segment of our population in America, a small segment, mind you, that has been taking advantage of their elite status, their cushy jobs while the rest of us work for a living! They’re just sitting there in their ivory tower using all their benefits and privileges. They’re not sacrificing like the rest of us. They’re not working as hard as the rest of us. They’ve got to be made to do their fair share.
Of course I’m talking about scholarship athletes at Stanford University.
Apparently, the university is officially ending something that never existed anyway (wink, wink). No, not collective bargaining for athletes. That comes when they all go pro and make way more money than the average American.
For years, scholarship athletes at Stanford had the opportunity to get a list of “courses of interest,” courses that would be ostensibly easier to earn a good grade in and help them to maintain their eligibility.
Can you believe this? Those elite Stanford students have easy classes HANDED to them by the athletic department. I mean, what are they doing on Stanford’s campus anyway? They’re certainly not like the regular students. Like you and me. Scholarship athletes are just babied thoroughbreds that need everything hand-fed to them, and the university is HELPING them do it.
If this hadn’t ended up in the press, let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, Stanford would still be passing out this list to any idiot athlete that wants it.
It tell you, ladies and gentlemen, it’s time we stopped coddling these entitled, lazy athletes whose jobs are way too easy anyway. They have got to work for their Stanford degrees just like the rest of us.
Now, those on the LEFT might tell you that they’re just there to play sports anyway, so why pretend they have to take the extra-hard classes anyway? Just one more example of the liberal elite working against the working men and women of this country. They don’t care about you and me, and they certainly don’t care about Stanford University.
I say make them earn their way through Stanford. It’s not like it’s that tough a school anyway. This is a win for the United States today, ladies and gentlemen. A rare one seeing as how the liberal media actually covered it. But a win nonetheless.
We’ll be right back on Premiere Radio Networks…