No More Special Benefits For Stanford Athletes

March 9, 2011 – 9:44 pm by McD

Ladies and gentlemen, our first story today is about a segment of our population in America, a small segment, mind you, that has been taking advantage of their elite status, their cushy jobs while the rest of us work for a living! They’re just sitting there in their ivory tower using all their benefits and privileges. They’re not sacrificing like the rest of us. They’re not working as hard as the rest of us. They’ve got to be made to do their fair share.

Of course I’m talking about scholarship athletes at Stanford University.

Apparently, the university is officially ending something that never existed anyway (wink, wink). No, not collective bargaining for athletes. That comes when they all go pro and make way more money than the average American.

For years, scholarship athletes at Stanford had the opportunity to get a list of “courses of interest,” courses that would be ostensibly easier to earn a good grade in and help them to maintain their eligibility.

Can you believe this? Those elite Stanford students have easy classes HANDED to them by the athletic department. I mean, what are they doing on Stanford’s campus anyway? They’re certainly not like the regular students. Like you and me. Scholarship athletes are just babied thoroughbreds that need everything hand-fed to them, and the university is HELPING them do it.

If this hadn’t ended up in the press, let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, Stanford would still be passing out this list to any idiot athlete that wants it.

It tell you, ladies and gentlemen, it’s time we stopped coddling these entitled, lazy athletes whose jobs are way too easy anyway. They have got to work for their Stanford degrees just like the rest of us.

Now, those on the LEFT might tell you that they’re just there to play sports anyway, so why pretend they have to take the extra-hard classes anyway? Just one more example of the liberal elite working against the working men and women of this country. They don’t care about you and me, and they certainly don’t care about Stanford University.

I say make them earn their way through Stanford. It’s not like it’s that tough a school anyway. This is a win for the United States today, ladies and gentlemen. A rare one seeing as how the liberal media actually covered it. But a win nonetheless.

We’ll be right back on Premiere Radio Networks…

/Limbaugh’d

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  1. 5 Responses to “No More Special Benefits For Stanford Athletes”

  2. Your an idiot if you think this has anything to do with politics. I love how you find something unfair and unjust and then immediately blame an entire philosophical stance for the outcome. Exactly what piece of legislation that was signed into LAW by the “LEFT” facilitated this miserable truth of college sports? Grow a brain and get some facts ON BOTH SIDES OF YOUR ARGUMENT (it’s called reasoning) before you’re so quick to point the finger. It’s morons like you that propagate the right wing the “anti-intellectual, xenophobic” stereotype that showed it’s ugly head this past week in the news. All your terrible article does is attempt to further segment the American population into two lumps called the LEFT and the RIGHT through meaningless dribble. The fact is we have more goals in common than in difference. MODERATES should have their own political party, one that is level headed and can see through this BS.

    By Jason on Mar 10, 2011

  3. Holy crap, Jason, this was a tongue-in-cheek post. How the hell could you not see that?!? He was making fun of the mindless political BS that goes on. Jesus man, back up, take a deep breath and calm the f*ck down.

    Oh and learn how to properly use “your” and “you’re” before ripping anyone else for being an idiot.

    By Phillips on Mar 10, 2011

  4. Phillip, sorry to fly off the handle. I’ve never visited your blog before as I’m sure many others who access it from google news without any context may assume a political tone. I hope I am not alone in that I’m tired of seeing politics drug into every conflict and decided to speak out against what appeared at first sight to be a flagrant case. I wish the best for your blog, sorry to instigate what I hoped to be fighting against. Nothing like a blood boiling, hastily written post to make me into a hypocrite. Thanks for humoring me.

    By Jason on Mar 10, 2011

  5. Wow, even a Rush Limbaugh impression gets a strong reaction. The man is good. I’ll give him that.

    By McD on Mar 10, 2011

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