I could not believe my ears Monday night as the new Kid Rock song “Born Free” played while ESPN’s Monday Night Countdown segued into Monday Night Football. The same song was used incessantly during TBS’ postseason baseball coverage, which was apparently the network’s only way of making a game called by Dick Stockton even more intolerable.
But once the World Series started on Fox, I figured I would mercifully avoid hearing Mr. Rock’s earnest but excruciating attempt to channel his inner Bob Seger. (At this point I wonder if it might even have been a decent song, but the fact it was played ever three seconds and was sung by Kid Rock pretty well eliminated this possibility. Especially since the only part they played is when he sort of screeches “I was boooooooorn free.”)
Unfortunately, my hopes were dashed when suddenly the same crappy song ended upon ESPN’s airwaves, this time as part of a Bucks-Celtics telecast. Because… Kid Rock screams NBA? If I want an NBA song, I’ll take some goddamn John Tesh.
But the madness clearly reached its crescendo when it was tagged along with Monday Night Football, now making “Born Free” somehow tied to three of our major sports. I imagine that NASCAR has used it as well since it plays right to that audience, but I have not bothered turning on a NASCAR race to see if this is true.
So far the NHL is the only sport I know of which has been spared this plague, though most of those players are born Canadian so perhaps their allegiance to the Queen will allow them to continue doing so. But given that Kid Rock is a native of Hockeytown, it may already be too late.
PS – If you actually want to hear “Born Free,” you’ll have to look it up yourself. I don’t have the heart to link it to our site.