San Francisco 49ers owner and president Jed York predicted that his winless team will bounce back in historic fashion and win the NFC West. Yes, despite an 0-5 record and zero signs of life through the season’s first five weeks, York is convinced his team is going to win the division.
Well, since apparently it’s time to make ridiculous predictions, we decided to come up with a few of our own. Though, between you me and the coffee table, nothing we could came up with topped the lunacy of what York had to say.
Here are our fearless predictions for the near future…
Butler will return to the Final Four.
Pacman Jones will never be arrested again.
The Washington Generals will score back-to-back wins over the Harlem Globetrotters.
The Pittsburgh Pirates will win the 2011 World Series.
Todd Collins will make the Pro Bowl.
Cleveland fans will lavish LeBron James with cheers upon his return to town.
Jackass 3-D will win the Academy Award for Best Documentary Film.
Brett Favre will throw no more interceptions.
Frank Stallone will release another Top 40 musical hit.
The Baker will woo Erin Andrews into bed with his rapier wit and Rick Moranis-like looks.
John Calipari will never be the focus of an NCAA investigation again.
No one will get screwed out of an appearance in the BCS title game.
Stuart Scott will host Masterpiece Theatre.
Someone will get laid at San Diego’s Comic-Con*.
Pogs will make a comeback.
Nick Saban will crack a smile on Alabama’s sidelines.
Mel Kiper Jr.’s hair will actually move.
Indiana University will make its second Rose Bowl this season.
*Creepy things like furry sex don’t count.